His Star and Her Light
by SwimmingInHisBlueEyes
Summary: This fic is OCxPhil at first but Phan later on. The first part is an important author's note and the next one will be the story itself. Inspired by Interstellar yay.
1. IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE

**IMPORTANT NOTE:**

 **If you want to skip the boring info, just read the ones in bold~**

I never planned to write this story since I have another fanfiction to continue writing but in the end I just ended up writing a whole different one in a different fandom.

 **At the beginning of this fiction, it will be OCxPhil but in the end it will be Phan** so to any phangirls out there haaaiiiii but sadly there isn't a lot of Phan action sorry, but there will be lots in the sequel

While I was writing this, I didn't stop. So **this isn't cut into bits so the next chapter will be the entire story itself**.

Also, a little bit of **trigger warning for suicide mention** so stay calm K? K. Potassium. What-

In the beginning of time, there were dinosaurs

In the beginning of writing, I wrote different names for Dan and Phil. Phil's new name was Flint Wallace and Dan's was Winston Lewhol (Lewhol is just a rearrangement of Howell. Ehehehe)but then I decided to change it back. If you see something like this: "F-Phil!" yeah...it used to be this: "F-Flint!" so...yeah. Basically, **if you see a name error, PLEASE MENTION THEM SO I CAN FIX IT PLZZZ-you can even be harsh about it** thaaaanks.

Not just name errors, **grammatical error and spelling mistakes can be pointed out** -Grammar Nazis are welcomed. Go nuts.

Oh, and **I was inspired by Interstellar** so the storyline is kinda the same...with going to space part and having different time zones and stuff...yeah...

Yes. **I put two Ace Attorney references**. If you don't like it, fight me.

Also, yes. I put **band references**. Fight. Me.

The story ends in a cliff-hanger what? Ahahahahaha no it doesn't. What are you talking about? The sequel is being written

 **If you want a sequel, tell me!**

 **That's all, I hope you enjoy "His Star and Her Light" :)**

 **-SwimmingInHisBlueEyes**


	2. The Story

**His Star and Her Light**

* * *

" _I'm just a star. I may look beautiful and pretty but the time I explode is the time I hold you tight and tell you everything will be fine when everything isn't."_

* * *

Running. It's something I've always done my entire life. My life is just running away from the reality I'll be forced into. People accept it; accept that this is their fate. I believe there is something more than just doing what we're told to do. We're more than just stars forced to shine in the sky so humans can look upon us. I know I've got a brighter future... _somewhere._ If I run faster, I know I'll find it.

"Stella!" a voice screams. I cringe and look back at the front of the classroom where the Algebra teacher is glaring daggers into me. "Pay attention, the board is _here,_ not outside _._ " Mrs. Olander shouted. I turned bright red as the class laughed a little, "Sorry ma'am." I say. Mrs. Olander just sighs and resumes teaching...whatever she was teaching.

After an agonising twenty minutes, the bell rings saving us all from the boredom. I pick up my notebook and pen, shoving it in my backpack and walk out until I felt an arm stop me. I look back to see Mrs. Olander holding me back, "Stella, I would like to speak with you." She says. I nibble on my bottom lip and follow her to her desk. "You've been daydreaming a lot more in class." Mrs. Olander starts, "You're doing well in my class, your grades are still straight A's but I don't think you gazing out the window will help." She continues. "Is there something you want to tell me niece?" she asks softly.

Mrs. Olander is a great Auntie at home, but is extremely boring at high school. The way she called me 'niece' wanted me to spill everything that's been in my mind for weeks but I just shook my head and lied "Nothing at all. I'm just...I don't get enough sleep."

"And why is that?" she asks, her eyebrow raised.

"I just don't feel like it."

"Well, lack of sleep is not good for your health Stella."

"I know. I try to but it just isn't coming to me."

"...Meet me after school in the faculty. I'll take you to the doctor's."

My eyes widened, "There's no need for that—"

"Yes there is a need." Aunt Eleanor cut in. "You're going whether you like it or not.

"Alright." I say and walk away to my next class.

I knew something was wrong with me. It all started when I decided I've had enough being perfect. I was forced a future by my family, a future that I didn't want to go to. This is my life, and if they can't accept it then they'll just have to deal with it. I didn't like being forced to speak, so my words became fewer. I didn't like the classical music, so I listened to more rock and techno music. I didn't like smiling, so I rarely did.

School seemed unimportant either, but I didn't want to waste the amount of sleepless nights I had for studying and doing projects. Eventually, the final bell rang and I walked out and went straight to the faculty. I knocked three times and opened the door, some teachers were at their desks checking homework or just chatting. "Ah, Ms. Kennedy. What brings you here?" Mr. Paul asks. I walk in and close the door, "I was told by Mrs. Olander to meet her here." I say. "She isn't here, but you can wait." He says and gestures to the sofas with magazines and books. I sat down and waited what felt like forever and soon my Aunt was walking towards me, "Let's go." she says. I stood up and followed her to the taxi that was waiting outside the school gates. "Where to ma'am?" the driver asked. "Take us to the Lily Hospital." My aunt said. I buckled my seat and looked out the window again.

We reached the hospital and apparently Aunt Eleanor already made an appointment so we were sent straight to the doctor. The doctor was a guy in his mid-twenties, dark brown hair combed to the left with his white coat on. "Hello, you must be Stella." The doctor said in a friendly way, "Why don't you sit here?" he asks while patting the chair beside him. Without speaking, I sat down and lowered my bag by my feet.

"My name is Eleanor; I'm her Aunt." Aunt says while shaking the doctor's hand. "I'm Kevin." He says. Kevin looks at me, "You don't seem very happy. How old are you?" he asks while getting out a notebook and a pen, scribbling things down. "I'm seventeen." I mumble. "Are you doing well in your studies?" Kevin asks. "Yes she is! Straight As ever since she started school." Aunt Eleanor says proudly. "Is something bothering you?" Kevin asks.

I felt their stares stab me; looking down I shook my head. "I'll just wait outside instead." Eleanor suggested and walked out. I look back up at Kevin and nod, "Y-yeah...something is." I say. Kevin smiles sympathetically and scribbles some more, "I see, what is bothering you Stella? What makes you restless at night?" he asks. I sigh and close my eyes, "A lot of things. My family has been known to be perfect and so they expect me to be perfect as well. I'm an only child, so my childhood was just reading; preparing myself for preschool. My parents want me to continue their business, marry the son of another rich and perfect family and plan my entire life out." I say while looking up at the white ceiling, "I...I don't want my life planned out. I want to take surprises, be a singer and write my own songs, maybe go to space, love someone I really do care." I say.

"I see... Is this the thing keeping you up at night?" Kevin asks. I give an empty laugh, "No, there is _so_ much more." I say darkly. "A lot of things corrupt this intelligent mind, yet I can't find the answer. My emotions are all over the place, the things I want to do right go incredibly wrong. I just cause havoc and misery to people I care about." I say as I remember my step-sister whose life ended too quickly.

 _"I think you're better off without me Stella..."_

"Do you have any friends in school?" Kevin asked. Shaking my head, I look back at Kevin, "I only have Zach—my boyfriend. Other than that, I think its better if I stayed alone; gives me less worry of being a good friend." I say. Kevin scribbles some more notes, "For now, I'll give you these sleeping pills." He says while handling me a bottle from his desk. I take the bottle and stuff them in my bag. "Also, take these pills _only_ when you don't feel like yourself." Kevin says and gives me a blue bottle. "Don't take too much, alright?" he asks while looking at me seriously. I nod and sling my back pack over my shoulder, "I won't." I say, but my brain is already thinking ahead. "Alright, call your Auntie for me. I'd like to speak to her." Kevin says. I nod and walk out while Aunt Eleanor walks in.

A few minutes later, Eleanor walks back out and nods for me to follow her. We go into another taxi and take our ride back home. "Do you have homework to do?" Aunt asks. I shake my head, "I finished them in school. I'll be reviewing for a test." I say and get out of the taxi and storm up the stairs while greeting my parents who didn't even notice me as per usual.

I walked into my room and locked the door. "I HATE YOU!" I screamed at the door, pretending it was my parents. I walked to my desk and sat down, running my hand through my hair in a frustrated way. Sighing, I decided to review for the Physics test anyway.

A knock was heard and the door opens up a little and the maid's head peaks in, "Dinner is ready Stella." She says in a monotone voice and leaves while closing the door. I shut my book and rub my eyes lightly, "I'm so tired." I mumbled. Realizing I still had my uniform on, I changed into some house clothes and went downstairs for some family dinner.

"I'll be eating in my office!"

"I'm going out!"

"Visiting the high school for faculty meeting; be good Stella!"

I sigh, "So much for family dinner." I mutter and slide into my usual seat and eat dinner alone like always. After eating, one of the butlers cleaned up and left without saying a word. I sighed once more and went upstairs to take a quick shower, clean up a little and get to bed.

I sat on my bed; both pill bottles by my bedside drawer and a glass of water were present. Shrugging, I took a sleeping pill and downed the water. And for the first time ever, I finally got some sleep.

Hearing my alarm go off, I sat up and switched it off. I got out of my comfy bed and got ready for the day ahead of me. I had my uniform on and my backpack with all my stuff in it prepared. I was about to shut the door to my room until a blue bottle catches my eye. Nibbling on my bottom lip, I quickly ran in and grabbed the bottle and stuffed it in my skirt pocket and shut the door. I went downstairs and got an apple from the fruit bowl, walking out the door and went inside my car. My driver—Mark—is already sat and as soon as I lock my door, we drive off to my high school.

As soon as we arrive, everyone looks at my car. "Have a good day in school Stella." Mark says. I nod and unbuckle my seatbelt, grab my bag from the back seats and get out of my car and shut it. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and sigh, "Here I go." I mutter and turn around and force a smile on my face as everyone stares. I walk up the school gate and I'm already bombarded by people.

Honestly, I don't know why people look up to me. They call me smart, beautiful, independent but in reality I see myself as the complete opposite. I'm not smart; I can't find answers to everything. I'm not beautiful, I'm just an average girl; I've got the normal height, the normal weight, tanned skin, medium long brown hair, green eyes that _don't_ work resulting high-graded glasses, and a normal blemish free face. I'm not independent, I need help from people around me but nobody sees I need help so I'm forced to work alone.

Then, I see Zach, my _boyfriend_ and my _future husband_. Zach is one of the school hot guys. He's in _every single sports club_ , his body is tanned from all that swimming and his muscles are hidden from his school coat but everyone knows what's underneath the clothing. He might be good-looking and intelligent, but he is _very_ demanding. We might look like a power couple but we don't really love each other. Zach likes another girl but he pretends to love me for the popularity. Either way, we're _just_ best friends pretending to be lovers.

Zach smiles and walks towards me, wrapping an arm around my waist and kissing my cheek, "How are you babe?" he asks. As much as I want to get away, I keep up the act, "I'm fine sweetie." I say and smile. Everyone looks at us as we walk towards the school and into the corridor. Immediately, people make way for us as if we're royalty. I walk to my locker, Zach still clinging on me. I open my locker and get the books I need, "Did you study for the Physics test?" I ask. Zach nods, "Yeah, you told me to study yesterday." He says.

I close my locker shut and bang my head on it, a loud sigh escaping my lips. "What's wrong Stella?" Zach asks. I look at him with a frown, "Aren't you tired pretending to be a couple? Don't you want to be with Amy?" I ask. Zach rolls his eyes, "Of course I do but we both don't want to upset our parents." He says. "Being forced to love my bestie in a romantic way is weird." Zach adds with a wink. I laugh a little and punch his shoulder lightly, "I agree with you there." I say.

The bells ring and we give each other a quick peck on the lips to show people we're a "couple" before going to separate classes. The Physics test was easy, all the other subjects I just spent pretending to be interested or gaze out the window. It was my lunch break and I saw Zach making out with Amy. I smiled; _he finally got the courage to ask her out_. Zach opened one eye and saw me; I gave him a thumbs up and walked into the cafeteria. I sat by the usual table where all the other popular kids who pretend to know me eat with me.

"Hey Stella!" Chloe greets, her face caked with makeup. I force a smile, "Hi Chloe." I say and grab my sandwich out and eat it. The cafeteria doors opened once more and Zach was walking in with Amy, both holding hands. I wave my hand at them and Zach smiles and drags Amy towards the table. Amy seems scared of me and sits between Zach and I. I pat Amy's back, "I hope you take care of my best friend." I say. Amy grins and nods back at me, "Of course. I love him so much." She says while leaning her head on his shoulder. Zach presses a kiss on her hair, "Thanks Stella." He says. I wink, "Bestie forever." I say. I look back at the people present at our table, all just staring at the three of us. "The power couple is breaking up!" Chloe screeches. Everyone immediately looks at us and I clear my throat, "I'll go to the library." I say and walk out. I didn't like much attention a lot.

I spent my entire lunch time chatting and helping the librarian. I only had two classes left and soon I'll be home in the comfort of my bed and my music. Taking my usual seat, I endured the double period subject.

The bell rang and everyone practically ran for the door. I got all my stuff and placed them neatly in my backpack. Walking out to the corridor, teenagers were buzzing all over the place and just then I remembered it's a Friday. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I whipped it out, _"Heavy traffic Stella; Might be picking you up late. –Mark"_ the text message read. I sighed and walked to the steps of the school entrance as I waited for my driver to pick me up.

I looked straight at the road after a few minutes; praying for something interesting to happen. As if someone heard me, a teenage boy who looks like he just rolled out of bed was running towards me. My eyes widened and I took the liberty to look at him as he runs. He's got black hair combed messily to the right, paper white skin and bright blue eyes framed by black glasses.

"Hey! Um, what time did school start?" The boy asks with a northern British accent. "Starts at eight in the morning." I say while glancing at my wrist watch, "It's quarter-past six already. How did you get this late?" I ask shocked. The boy rubs his head sheepishly, "I'm a new student. I moved from London and my alarm was still in that time." He says. I never usually laugh at the stories Chloe or the popular group tell me but for some reason; this boy's story made me laugh. The boy ended up laughing as well, blushing bright red.

"Alright then;" I say and stand up "my name is Stella Kennedy." I say in a friendly way and stick my hand out. The boy shakes my hand and smiles, "I'm Phil Lester." He says. "Well, my driver isn't here yet and maybe you'd like me to give you a tour?" I say. Phil nods, "Yes please, that would help a lot." He says.

Walking around with people always annoyed me. I got used to being alone that now it's all I ever want. With Phil, it was different. His company was comforting and it was really easy to strike up a conversation with him. With Phil beside me, it made me realize that I didn't want to be alone; rather, I want the right person to be beside me.

"You're in the Junior level right?" I ask after the tour. Phil and I were sat at the entrance where we first encountered,

"Yeah I am. Are you?" he asks.

I smile, "Yup! Maybe we'll meet on Monday." I say.

"What are your classes?" Phil asks while taking out his schedule.

"Oh, on a Monday I've got Honours English first, then Honours Algebra, followed by Honours Biology. After those three, I've got a thirty minute break then back to Honours—"

"Okay, wait. You've got _all_ the Honours subjects." Phil says with wide eyes.

I smirk, "I do; been having straight A's since preschool." I say.

I expected Phil to be like everyone else, saying that I'm so smart and dedicated and that I should live a little but _no._ Phil is _definitely_ different.

"Do you like having a straight record?" he asks.

This question takes me aback and I look at the sky and smile, "Nobody has ever asked me that... I do like having a straight record. Not for the sake to prove I'm the new Einstein but to keep my parents and my Auntie off my back about school. I may be an Honour student, but I hate school with a passion." I say. Phil smiles, "I guess we're both different." He says.

A honk startles us both and I turn to see Mark standing by the driver's door. I sigh and turn back to Phil, "That's my ride; text you later?" I ask while patting my pocket that held my phone with Phil's number. Phil smiles and gives me a hug which catches me by surprise but I hug back. "See you next time!" He says as I walk to my car.

I sit into the passenger's seat and buckle my seatbelt while Mark goes to the driver's seat and buckles his seatbelt. "Are you ready?" he asks while turning the ignition on. I nod while looking out the window and see Phil waving at me. Smiling, I wave back and we take off the gutter and into the road.

As soon as we pull into the drive way, I unbuckle my seatbelt and grab my bag. "Thanks for the ride." I say and get out while closing the door with my foot. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I walk in and greet my parents who are too deep in a conversation to notice me. I sigh and walk upstairs, changing out of my school uniform and into a gray tank top and black sports shorts. My phone makes a sound that indicates I got a text message and I smile as I see Phil's name on the screen,

" _Did you get home? –P Xxx "_

Lying down on my bed, I reply back.

" _Yeah, I did. You? – S Xxx"_

" _Yup :D Are you free tomorrow? –P Xxx"_

" _I am! Why? –S Xxx"_

" _Maybe we could meet up at Starbucks. Only if you want to tho –P Xxx"_

" _I'd love to :) What time? –S Xxx"_

" _Maybe after lunch time...let's say 1PM? –P Xxx"_

" _Deal! See you tomorrow then –S Xxx"_

" _Oh and by the way, I'll consider this a date ;) –S Xxx"_

" _Hahaha whatever you say. It'll be a friendly date. –P Xxx"_

"Stella? Dinner time." A maid says while opening my door. I lock my phone and slide it in my pocket, "Okay, I'll be down soon." I say. The maid nods and closes the door quietly. Once I'm left all alone in the room, I squeal. "I'm going out to see an actual _friend_!" I say happily. With a grin, I switch the lights off and walk out my room. Shutting the door, I go downstairs and for once; I'm glad that I'm eating alone so nobody can question the grin on my face.

After eating, I go upstairs and go into my room; deciding to do all my homework now so I wouldn't have any problems the next day. A knock was heard on my door and it swings open as my mother is standing there on the doorway, "Hello Stella. Are you doing your homework now?" she asks. I nod, "Yes mother. I just have to finish these last three equations and I'll be going to bed." I say. "Do you have anything planned tomorrow?" she asks, trying to be friendly. "Yes I do actually. I'm meeting my friend tomorrow at one." I say and cross my arms.

Mother frowns before nodding, "I see. Since I had a day off tomorrow, I thought we could go on a bonding day." She says. I smile and stand up from my desk and walk towards her, "How about we have our bonding in the morning? We wake up at nine then go to the mall for a bit then eat lunch? That way, in the morning I can bond with you then in the evening I can bond with my friend." I suggest. Mother smiles while kissing the top of my head, "Great idea Stella dear. I'll see you tomorrow then." She says while closing my door. I walk back to my desk and finish my homework; excited for the next day.

I wake up and smile, "Today's going to be awesome." I say and sit up while looking at my alarm clock. _"8:30 AM"_ the clock reads in red digital lettering. I get out of bed and pull the blinds up, smiling at the sunny weather. I walk into my bathroom and splash some water on my face, "Oh that is _cold_." I mutter. After stretching a bit, I walk downstairs and smile as I see Mother already up with a cup of coffee by her hand. She notices me and smiles, "Good morning Stella." She says while kissing my cheek. "Good morning mom." I say. I sit down on my spot and pick up my cup of coffee that's waiting for me. Together, my mom and I watch some television.

After eating breakfast, mom and I go to our rooms to get ready for our bonding time. I take a shower and blow dry my hair. Walking to my stereo, I switch it on and grin as I hear Panic! At the Disco playing. "I'm ready to gooo!" I sing along while drying off and dressing up. I put on some denim shorts with a green top and brown boots. Fixing my black beanie on my head, I grab my backpack and stuff in my penny board, my wallet, my phone, and a First-Aid kit. "Why are you bringing a First-Aid kit?" a voice asks. I yelp and face my attention to the door where my mother is dressed up in jeans and a normal shirt with black flats and her handbag by her arm. Seeing my mother dressed in normal clothes isn't normal for me since whenever I see her, she's in office clothes. "I'm just being cautious." I say and zip my backpack while slinging it over my shoulder.

I switch the stereo and the light off while joining my mom who is waiting for me down the stairs. Walking down the stairs I smile, "Where first?" I ask while following her out the house. "How about the park first?" she suggests. I nod while taking my penny board out and stepping on it, "Sure." I say while rolling down the streets. Mom laughs while getting her black and white bicycle and riding down the street with me. Side by side, we chat while we try to focus on the road. Some bystanders smile at us and we smile back.

Eventually, we reach the park and we stop at a hill. We get off our rides and sit together on the grass. "You're pretty good on your board." Mom says. I smile, "Thanks. You're pretty good on your bike too." I say. "How are your studies? Any difficulties?" she asks. I shake my head, "No, it's pretty easy." I say. Mom then breaks into a grin and leans in close, "Spot any hot guys?" she asks. I blush bright red, "M-mom! No I—I haven't—I didn't spot any." I say and just then, my mind goes to Phil's smile. "Okay...maybe I have..." I say softly and look down.

Mom squeals, "Oho! My sweetie's got a crush." She says. "Just please tell me it isn't Zach." She says while looking at me. I shake my head, "No it isn't Zach. I'm actually meeting him today." I say. Mom smile and hugs me, "Oooh you're on a date eh?" she asks. "It's not a date. Besides, I thought you wanted me to marry Zach?" I ask. Mom snorts, "That was Kevin's idea. I'm fine with whoever you like. I don't care if you fancy boys or girls or both. I just want to know that you're happy being yourself." She says.

I smile and rest my head on her lap, "Nah, I'm straight mom." I say. "Thanks for...everything I guess." I continue. Mom smiles, "I know I haven't been the best mom so I hope this day can make up for it. I'll try to sneak some more day offs when I can so we can bond some more." She says. We stay there for awhile, doing mindless chatter. Then we go to the mall and look around for a while and eat in a restaurant.

"It's nearly one mom. I've got to meet Phil in Starbucks." I say while glancing at my wrist watch. Mom smiles while following me to Starbucks, "Come back home by ten okay?" she asks. I nod and kiss her cheek, "Bye mom." I say while watching her ride her bike and roll away. I walk into the store and order my drink while taking a seat at the back.

Then I see Phil walk in and order his own drink. He scans the shop for a while until his eyes landed on mine. I smile and wave him over to my place to which he does. He's dressed in brown skinny jeans, some gray and white flats, a black shirt and a hoodie on. He shoulders his backpack and slides into the seat opposite mine and smiles, "Why hello there friend; like what you see?" he asks while wiggling his eyebrows.

So we chat some more and after finishing our drinks, we walk out and roll on our penny boards. "So you used to have spiky hair thinking it was cool?" I ask while laughing. Phil rolls his eyes and jumps over a rock and lands back on his penny board steadily, "I regret it and so I just decided to just comb my hair to the side and thought ' _Hey, it doesn't look that bad'_ and now here it is!" he exclaims while flicking his hair. I laugh a little and do an Ollie, smirking at Phil's surprised reaction, "How did you do that!?" he asks. I smile and do it again, "I used to live beside the beach so I would surf and soon we moved to the city and I miss surfing so my mom bought me a penny board since my dad didn't like me on an actual skateboard." I explain.

"You used to live beside the beach?" Phil asks. I nod, "Yeah, I don't remember much since that's where I was born and stuff. Once I was around ten we moved to the city. I began surfing when I was...five or six I'm not sure." I say. Phil nods, "You must've liked the water." He says. I smile, "Yeah... I used to be in the swimming team but I just stopped since I really like surfing and not swimming." I say while scrunching my face, "The coach wasn't any good to be honest." I say. Phil just smiles at my face, "I grew up in Lancashire. We moved around and then eventually my parents decided to move to America for no reason at all. It's pretty stupid too since I'll be graduating soon." He says.

I smile, "Well, we'll soon be free from that hell and be thrown into another one." I say. "College is a scary thing. I still don't know what to do." Phil says. "I want to sing and make my own songs so I'm aiming for Literature and Music then I'll move on to video editing in case things don't go as I want it to. Then if all that doesn't work, I'll just continue my dad's business in Europe." I say while looking at my mental list. Phil just stares at me, "Wow... you've got everything planned out." He says. I smile, "Hey, if you can't decide let's go to college together. We can take Literature and video editing! I'm not sure if you want to do Music though..." I say while looking back on the road. "That sounds like a great idea! But I'm taking college back in Manchester." Phil says sadly. I smirk, "Then I'll tag along then." I say. Phil's eyes widened, "You'd do that for me?" he asks. I nod, "Of course! You're my best friend. I go where you go." I say.

We ended up in the park, lying down on the grass and staring at the stars. "Do you see Orion?" Phil asks. I smile and point at the sky, "Yeah, I see his belt. Do you see the Dipper?" I ask. Phil points as well, "Yup! It's right there." He says. "Stella...what do you believe we are?" Phil asks while looking at me. I look at him then back at the stars, "As much as I know what we really are, I believe we are stars." I say softly. "I know than I'm an Honours student and I know more than that but I like to let myself believe in small things. I like to think that when starts explode, the particles around form a new person." I continue. "But even the brightest stars explode as well. They burst into pieces but their death is not forgotten because those particles will form into a person. We all have our limits and some stars shine brighter than the others because some are so far away. Imagine how beautiful the farthest star would be? Its light would shine brightly but we couldn't see it because of the stars that are shining too close to us." I say.

I felt Phil's hand hold mine and our fingers intertwine. I looked at it and I stared at how easily our hands fit in each other. "I like your light better than the rest. It doesn't shine too faintly but it doesn't shine too bright." Phil says. "Why would you like my light when you can have the moon's light?" I ask. Phil pulls me closer and my head is resting on his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around my body, "Because the moon's light is just a reflection of the sun's light. We're all stars that fell on this earth and once we're done shining our lights to others, we get to go back to the sky. Your light shined mine and now I've got my light." He says softly. I hum and hug Phil tightly, "I know we literally just met yesterday...but I really like your light." I say. Phil laughs a little, "I only have my light because of you." He says. I look up at his eyes, green clashing with blue.

Then, we were kissing. Phil was gentle and sweet and I knew right away that I wanted to protect Phil's light. Once we pulled away, I smiled, "I'll be your star if you'll be mine." I say. Phil smiles while kissing my forehead, "I would love to be your star." He says.

* * *

I wake up in my bed and I smile as I remember last night. My phone chimes and a text lights up the screen,

" _Good morning my star ;) Did you sleep well? –P Xxx"_

" _Yes I did. How are you my light? –S Xxx"_

" _I'm fine. So I call you star and you call me light? –P Xxx"_

" _Yup! Well, that's our nicknames settled. –S Xxx"_

Getting out of bed, I walk downstairs and see mom sitting by the dining table with an empty plate and a cup of coffee in front of her. "Good morning mom." I say and sit at my spot where I get served some pancakes. Mom drops her newspaper and leans in close, "How was the date?" she asks. I smile while taking a bite, "Last night we stargazed and talked..." I say, "...and then we kissed." I added softly. Mom heard it and smiled widely, "I'm so happy sweetie! Are you two a thing now?" she asks. I take a sip of my coffee and shrug, "I don't know. But he is definitely more than my best friend." I say. "Are you going to do anything today?" Mom asks. I shake my head, "No, I'm just going to rest today." I say. I finish my breakfast and go upstairs.

As I soak in a bathtub filled with bubbles, I let myself think about Phil and I. Sure, we kissed; but did it mean anything? Was that just a friendly kiss? Are we still friends? Friends with benefits? A couple? Sighing, I breathe in the scent of raspberries and vanilla. After being in the bath for nearly an hour, I rise and dry myself off. I put on my black silk robe and tie the rope around it after making sure I was dry. I blow dry my hair while listening to Fall Out Boy, "AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET!?" I sing—or scream—along. " _Good thing the rooms are soundproof."_ I thought.

Once my hair was dry I dressed up in blue and white stripped sports shorts and a white shirt saying "Emo Trinity" in black. I sat on my bed and got my laptop out and turned it on. I began to surf the net until it became boring as well. Eventually, I decided to just play the piano. Slipping my phone in my pocket, I walk to the other side of my room where a piano is sat at the corner. Pulling the stool out, I sat down and lifted the cover.

Playing a few random notes, I began to play my own melody. Music bounced around the room and as I close my eyes, I let my fingers play their own melody. Sure, there were a few mistakes but soon it was me and my music.

" _When we met, I felt lighter  
suddenly everything around me is brighter  
the narrow, suffocating road is now wider_

 _You're my star  
No matter how far we are  
I see your light  
your light that shines day and night_

 _Once the sun sets,  
I'm left with no regrets  
and watch the night come to life_

 _But even the brightest stars burst;  
some people are full while some thirst.  
Eventually the sun will come out  
and everything I believed in, I doubt._

 _You're my star  
my sweet little light.  
The sun will come soon  
so just hold me tight."  
_

"Stella?" a voice startles me. I swiftly turn around and see Mom standing by my door way, "Are you the one singing?" she asks. I blush a little before nodding, "Y-yeah...it was me." I mutter. Mom smiles, "That was beautiful. You have a great voice Stella." Mom says while leaving my room, shutting my door quietly. I stare at the ceiling before looking back down at the keys and smile, "Thanks." I say and put the lid down and slide the stool under.

Just then, my phone rings. I whip it out of my pocket and my eyebrows rose when I saw it was Zach calling me. "Hey Zach, what's up?" I ask. _"St-Stella? Stella she doesn't love me!"_ Zach says, his voice cracking as if he was crying. I shot out of my bed and began putting shoes on, "Who's this girl? Is it Amy?" I ask. _"Yeah! She-she cheated on me Stella! She was making out with Liam from my swimming team!"_ Zach shouts. I got my keys along with my wallet, stuffing the items in my pocket while grabbing my penny board. "Zach? Listen to me pal. I'm on my way okay? Breathe with me alright? Inhale for five seconds and exhale for five seconds." I say while storming down the stairs. "Stella? Where are you going?" Mom asks me as she saw me at the door, "I'm going to Zach's. He needs me right now." I shout while putting my board on the road and go as fast as I can to Zach's house which was luckily not that far.

" _It hurts so much Stella...I...I was wrong."_ Zach says. "Shh, don't say that Zach. She doesn't realize what she's missing out on. You're one of the hottest dudes I know." I say. Eventually, I'm at Zach's house and I open the door with the keys he gave me. I run up the stairs and go straight to Zach's room. Zach was on the floor, his eyes red and puffy from crying. His entire room was a mess, trophies were destroyed, posters were ripped, books and clothes were strewn everywhere. I end the call and slip my phone my phone in my pocket while dropping my penny board to the ground and close the door with my foot while running to Zach, giving him a tight hug.

Zach sobs into my hoodie and I don't mind. Zach and I have been through so much individually that we decided to go through them together. When I'm sad, Zach comes running to my house and vice versa. "I hate her!" Zach screams in between sobs. I just hummed in agreement and ran my hand through his dishevelled hair, "I know, so do I." I say softly. We sat there on the ground for a few minutes and soon Zach's tears finish. I cup my hand on his cheek and look at him directly in the eyes, "Feel a little better?" I ask. Zach nods while burying his face on my shoulder, "Only because you're here beside me." He says. I smile and rub circles on his back, "Want to eat some ice cream and watch some anime?" I ask. Zach nods while pulling away from the hug and going under the covers, hugging a throw pillow tightly. I get his laptop and unlock it, putting on an anime episode, "I'll be back with cookies and cream." I say while going downstairs and walking into the kitchen. Opening the freezer, I get the two tubs of cookies and cream and two spoons. With the items on a tray, I walk back upstairs and shut the door with my foot. "Let's watch some Your Lie in April, okay?" I ask while sitting beside Zach, kicking my shoes off and going under the covers while giving him a tub of ice cream and a spoon. Zach takes the items and pops open the tub, "Okay." He mutters.

Just like that, we were both laughing and crying along to the anime's story. We sat there for a few hours and soon Zach was feeling better. I glanced at the time and my eyes widened as I saw it was nine in the afternoon, "I better go now Zach. I've been here for too long." I say while slipping my shoes on and picking up my penny board. Zach frowns before smiling and hugging me, "Thanks for everything Stella." He says. I hug him back before walking to the door, "Are you sure you'll be fine going to school tomorrow?" I ask. Zach nods, "Yeah. See you tomorrow!" he says happily. I smile and walk out the house, rolling on the streets on my penny board.

After such a long day, I ate dinner, took a quick shower and lay down under the duvet of my bed with the lights off. Then, I get a text from Phil,

" _Hey star, how was your day? –P Xxx"_

" _It was alright light. I had to go to my friend's house because he got cheated on :/ -S Xxx"_

" _Seriously!? Is he okay? –P Xxx"_

" _Yeah he's fine now. I hope. –S Xxx"_

" _Well, I'm tired now star. Good night~ -P Xxx"_

" _Good night light :3 –S Xxx"_

Putting my phone down, I let it charge and roll around in bed until the sleeping pill finally works it's magic.

* * *

The next day, I was scared. I wasn't sure how people will think of me with Phil. Honestly, I couldn't care any less but I'm scared for _Phil._ Phil is a great guy to be around with but I'm pretty sure my fan club wouldn't be happy with me being friendly with the new kid and not so much to others. I sighed, "Whatever happens; happens." I say to myself while drying myself and dressing up into my school uniform.

Picking up my backpack and slipping my phone and pills into my skirt pocket, I close my door and go downstairs. Mom wasn't anywhere to be seen and I just sighed once again and grabbed an apple. "You're not going to eat something heavier?" Aunt Eleanor asked. I shook my head and went out to see Mark already waiting for me. I slide into my normal seat and buckle up while whipping my phone out and smiling as I see a text from Phil,

" _Can't wait 2 see you star! –P Xxx"_

" _Me 2 light, me 2. I'll see at the gate? –S Xxx"_

" _Yup! See ya there~ -P Xxx"_

Turning back to my window, I turn the radio on. Mark and I listen to the music in silence as we make our way too school. When we do, people are already buzzing around; watching me go out my car and greet me. I decided to just smile back and look around for Phil.

"Stella!" someone calls. I turn and smile as I see Phil waving at me. I run towards him and give him a hug, not caring about the people whispering and staring. "Um...why are they staring at us?" Phil whispers. I laugh quietly, "Okay, I forgot to mention that I'm actually pretty popular around here." I whisper back. Phil snickers, "Oh, I thought it was because they are jealous of a hot guy like me to be with a hot girl like you." He says while pulling back from the hug and wiggling his eyebrows. I turn a bit red before laughing and hitting his shoulder lightly, "Right, as if they would be." I say.

I take Phil's hand and immediately our fingers intertwine as if it was a reflex and I smile at Phil while he smiles back. We both walk into the noisy corridor but silence falls as soon as we step in. Whispers and stares are thrown at us but I didn't care, I was with Phil. I walked Phil to my locker and I got my stuff, "How do you feel?" I ask while shutting the door. Phil just stares, "Normal but _happier_." He says. "But...are we a thing now Stella?" he asks softly. I smile, "Only if you want to Phil. Just know this; I love you as a best friend and...as something more. If you don't want to be a thing yet, sure, I'll wait." I say while holding his hand and squeezing it. Phil just stares at my green eyes and a smile breaks on his face, "Yeah...I'd like us to be a thing." He says. My smile goes wider and I peck his cheek, making him blush madly. I laugh a little until I felt someone tap my shoulder.

Turning around to face that person, I see my best friend Zach looking at me suspiciously. "Hey Stella...who's this?" Zach asks while looking at Phil who just stares down at his shoes. I smile and hold Phil's hand, "This is Phil, my boyfriend." I say. Zach nods before smiling at Phil, "Hello mate! Break my sister's heart and I'll break your neck." Zach says. Phil gulps, "O-okay." He says nervously. Zach and I laugh, "Calm down light, Zach here is just joking." I say. Phil sighs in relief, "I thought he was serious!" he exclaims. Zach rolls his eyes, "I might be buff, but I'm against violence." He says while flexing his arms. "Right. I'm going to my class and I'm dragging you two with me since all three of us have Physics. But you Phil dear; have normal Physics." I say while taking each boys hand.

Zach went ahead to honours Physics while I led Phil to his Physics class. "Good luck light." I say while kissing his cheek and pushing him in his class. Phil gawks and turns around to glare at me but I just wink and walk to my honours class.

After hours and hours it's finally my break time and as I walk out my Biology class, Phil is standing outside leaning on a wall with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I smile and walk towards the tall boy and kiss his cheek, "Hey light." I say. Phil looks at me and smiles back, "Hey star. You hungry?" he asks. I nod and we hold hands while walking to the cafeteria, "I'm always hungry." I say. Phil laughs at me while patting my stomach, "How is that thing not growing?" he asks. I smile, "Because I actually work out...sometimes." I say.

Everyone looked at us as soon as we set foot. Phil squirmed a little and I just tightened my grip a little on our intertwined hand. "Maybe we should eat somewhere else." I say. Phil nods and practically runs out, me following him. He drags me to the back of the school near the field and we sit under a tree. "That was awkward." I say while getting out my sandwich. Phil nods while getting out an orange and peeling it, "Let's just eat privately." He says. I nod in agreement and we eat silently, my head resting on Phil's shoulder.

Time passed and soon we both had to make our way back to class. I sat where I always do, patiently waiting to be with Phil. Somehow everything I thought led to Phil and I knew if this continued then my grades will definitely collapse. Shaking my head, I quickly picked up my pen and began to take down notes on whatever our teacher was discussing about.

The final bell rang and students were piling out. I gathered my stuff and swung my backpack over my shoulders. Walking out of the classroom, I see Phil waiting for me. "Hey light!" I exclaim happily and run over to Phil and hug him tightly, "I missed you." I mutter. Phil chuckles and hugs me back, "I was only away for an hour and a half." He says. I pull away and hit his shoulder lightly, "You know what I mean." I say. Phil gives me a crooked grin, making my heart run a marathon, "Alright, I miss you too star." He says.

We hold hands and sit by the stairs, both patiently waiting for our own rides. "Hey, maybe I can give you a ride." I say. Phil's eyes widen, "Are you sure you're okay with it?" he asks. I roll my eyes, "If I wasn't, I wouldn't offer it would I? Besides, I always wanted to see your house." I say. Phil turns a little red and nods, "Right, sure. I'll just text my mom." He says and gets his phone out.

A few minutes later, he gets a reply. "She says yes. Also, she wants to meet you." Phil says. My eyes widen and I smoothen my skirt, "Oh god, I didn't expect that." I say while running my hands through my hair. Phil laughs while holding one of my hands and kissing it, "You're beautiful Stella, calm down." He says. I blush a little and lean on his shoulder, "Thanks Phil. I'm just nervous, what if she doesn't like me?" I say. Phil rolls his eyes, "Who wouldn't like you? You're so lovable." He says. Then he pulls me into his lap and hugs me, "Oh, and cuddly. You're like a teddy bear." He says while nuzzling into my neck. I giggle and rest my head at the crook of his neck, "I love you." I say. Phil smiles, "I love you too." He replies.

Eventually, Mark pulls up at the driveway. I stand up with my stuff and hold Phil's hand. Together we slide into the back and Mark turns to look at us, "Will we be dropping you off at your home sir?" he asks. Phil looks at me for help and I laugh a little, "Yes, we'll be dropping off Phil. Also, you might have to wait for a little while Mark; Phil's mom wants to meet me." I say. Mark nods and asks Phil for his address, Phil tells him and we drive away. I crawl to Phil's side and sit on his lap while resting my head at the crook of his neck. Phil smirks while playing with my hand, "Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" he whispers. I smile and look at him through the reflection of the window, "Yes you have, and I love you too." I whisper back.

Eventually, we stop at a street that is two streets away from mine. We go down it and reach Phil's house. The baby blue colored house is small with a small driveway and a lovely garden. Mark looks at us through the mirror, "I'll wait for you Stella, but I suggest you do not take too long." He says. I nod and open the door while leaving my backpack behind, "Come on Phil." I say happily. Phil goes out with his backpack and closes the door. We hold hands and make our way to the front door. Phil reaches into his pocket and gets out his keys, unlocking the door as we enter. The inside of the house is very warm and has a home-y feeling to it; we are led straight into the living room with a fireplace and a television on top of it. "Mom? I'm home with Stella!" Phil exclaims.

Then I see a tall woman with short brown hair go down the stairs. "Oh Phil! Good to know you're home." The woman says. She then walks towards us and smiles, "Ah, hello dear. I'm Linda, Phil's mom." She says while shaking my hand. I smile back, "I'm Stella, it's nice to finally meet you Mrs. Lester." I say. Linda rolls her eyes and laughs a little, "No need for formalities Stella, you can call me Linda." She says. I smile sheepishly, "Right, sorry, my father makes me greet people by their last name when he brings me to business meetings or parties or anything business related." I explain. Linda and Phil look at me, "Oh, I see. No matter, it's a small harmless mistake. Come; let's go to the living room." Linda says. The three of us sit, Phil and I on one couch and Linda on a small blue chair.

"So, when did you meet Phil?" Linda asks. I smile as I remember the memory, "Phil went to school at dismissal time during Friday. I was waiting for my ride and decided to befriend him and show him around the place. Realizing we liked a few similar things, we just...clicked despite our differences." I explain. "How are you two different?" Linda asks. "I prefer dark colors." I say, "And I prefer cool colors." Phil continues.

"I over think things."

"I just wait for things to happen."

"I plan my life out."

"I go with the flow."

"I don't really open up to people."

"And I'm Mr. Friendly."

Linda just stares at us and chuckles in amusement, "Well, aren't you two an odd couple." She says and smiles. I blush a little while Phil laughs and hold my right hand with his left, "We are but we both like to see things from... _a new perspective._ " He says. I laugh, "Hahaha, yes we do. And that was a good Panic! At the Disco reference." I say. Phil winks, "Girl, you know it." He says. I roll my eyes, "You can't be blonde Phil." I say. I look at my wristwatch, "Well, I have to go. My parents have no idea I'm here." I say while standing up. Linda and Phil stand up as well and Linda walks towards me and hugs me tightly, "It's been a pleasure for you to stop by. I would love to meet your parents someday." She says. I pull away afterwards and smile, "I'll be sure to tell them so we could arrange a meeting." I say. Phil walks with me as I make my way to the car where Mark is starting it. I turn around and kiss him and he kisses back, "Text me later?" I ask. Phil smiles and pecks my forehead, "Of course love." He says. I slide into the backseat and roll my window down, waving at Phil as Mark pulls away and drive on.

Once we are parked, I grab my backpack and thank Mark while getting out and shutting the door behind me. Making my way to the front door, I greet my parents who are discussing something at the dining table. Mom stops and smiles at me, "Hello Stella! Dinner will be ready soon." She says. Dad looks at me and nods, "Good afternoon Stella. Did good at school?" he asks. I nod, "Yes daddy. I'll be on my way now." I say while nodding curtly and making my way up the stairs and into my room.

Flipping the switch to my room, the lamps turn on and the chandelier light up the place. I drop my bag at my desk and lay down on my bed, my legs dangling at the side. I fish around in my pocket and feel my phone and the bottle inside. I wrap my fingers around my pill bottle and pull it out of my skirt pocket. I've already downed a few pills and I feel ashamed, I couldn't be happy on my own and I rely on artificial happiness. With a sigh, I place the small blue bottle on my bedside where my sleeping pills are.

My phone makes a sound indicating I got a text. I unlocked it and smiled as I saw Phil texted,

" _Hey, how's my star? –P Xxx"_

" _Your star is fine. How's my light? –S Xxx"_

" _Your light is fine as well. Mom likes you by the way, she won't stop saying how great you are! –P Xxx"_

" _Hahaha, of course I am ;) –S Xxx"_

" _Don't get sassy on me gurl! *snaps fingers* jk, I luv u –P Xxx"_

" _Can't help it~ I luv u 2 –S Xxx"_

" _Gtg star, ttyl? –P Xxx"_

" _Sure, ily –S Xxx"_

" _Ily2 –P Xxx"_

I plug my phone to its charger and change into more comfortable clothes. A maid enters my room and informs me that dinner is ready, I nod and watch her leave and close the door. I walk into my bathroom and brush my hair quickly and go down to eat some dinner. Surprisingly, Mom and Dad are sat at the dining table for once. I slide into my usually seat and Mom just smiles at me, "We decided to join you for dinner since it has been forever since our last family diner. Aunt Eleanor is at her house with her husband so she couldn't join us." She explains. I nod slowly and begin eating the food that our chefs cooked.

"I heard you broke up with Zach." Dad started. I gulped and avoid his gaze, "A-are you mad?" I ask. "No, I'm not. I would have too actually. You too really act as best friends." He says. I look at him in shock, "Really? You're fine with it?" I ask incredulously. "Well yeah. I know I've been so uptight with you Stella and I guess I just want us to be close again, like the good old times." Dad says while smiling at me. My eyes water a little bit as I remember what exactly those _good old times_ were; us going to the park, us playing video games, us making sand castles back when we lived near the beach. I quickly wipe my tears away, "Yeah...I miss those." I admit. Dad and Mom smile at me and suddenly I feel lighter, "I...I miss talking to you both. I miss surfing and all those fun times back at our small house near that beach." I say.

Mom holds my hand, "Sweetie, we all do. I know we didn't have a very good start here but...your father and I have decided that from now on, we will try our best to find time for all three of us to bond." She says. I nod, "Yeah I'd like that." I say. "Also, I met Phil's mom and she says she would like to meet you two." I add. Dad and Mom look at each other with a smile, "I think we can arrange that. Maybe this Saturday afternoon?" Mom asks. Dad nods, "Yes, that seems acceptable seeing as I have no work that day." He says. "So...Saturday?" I ask. Mom laughs, "Yes dear, tell Phil okay?" she says. I nod, "Okay." I respond with a smile. Then I turn to face Dad, "Wait, you know about Phil?" I ask. Dad sighs, "Mom won't stop talking about how you found the one." He says. Mom looks away while eating, "I have no idea what you're talking about." She says. We all laugh and I never been so content before.

" _Does this mean your parents like me?"_ Phil asks. After finishing my homework, I called Phil and we ended up chatting for nearly two hours. "I guess so. I mean, who doesn't like you?" I say. " _Well, some people think I'm weird since I don't like cheese."_ Phil says and I roll my eyes, "That's not weird. People have their own interests and some things aren't universally liked." I say. _"And that's what I love about you; you don't judge people immediately."_ Phil says and I blush a little, glad that he couldn't see my face. "I—you—just shut up." I stutter and Phil laughs, _"Love you."_ He says. I lay down on my bed and smile, "I love you too." I say.

After a good chat with Phil, we end the call and I get ready for bed. I turn off my lights and my ceiling glows from the glow-in-the-dark paint designs. On the ceiling, I painted the Milky Way at the centre in vibrant colors with more stars and galaxies surrounding it. Getting under the covers, I stare at the Milky Way and smile, "Someday...I'll be out there." I say as the sleeping pills did their work and soon I drifted off to slumber.

* * *

I woke up on a fine Saturday morning and I smiled as I remember that Phil and his mom will come over. I got up took a shower and blow-dried my hair. Walking into my closet, I pull out a black skater skirt, black suspenders and my Doctor Who shirt and throwing the things on. I walked around until I found some galaxy print converse and I smiled as I looked in the mirror, "I'm looking for the TARDIS" the shirt read. I walked out of my closet and walked to my table where my phone is charging.

" _Hey, you up? –S Xxx"_

" _Yup! So excited for this afternoon :) –P Xxx"_

" _I'll see you soon love –S Xxx"_

" _See you soon my star –P Xxx"_

With a smile, I go downstairs and walk into the dining table. "Morning Mom, morning Dad." I greet. "Morning sweetie." Mom greets and sips her coffee. "Good morning Stella dear." Dad says and finishes his breakfast. I pour some milk into my bowl of cereal and munch happily, "I see you're ready for Phil to come over." Mom says. I nod, "Yup! He's a really great guy and I think you'll love him." I say. "You're quite happy...did you take those pills Stella?" Dad asks while narrowing his eyes. I drop my spoon into my bowl, "No. I didn't. I...I haven't touched it yet." I lie. "So, you use the sleeping ones?" Mom asks. I nod and look down at my cereal and forcefully shovel a spoon of it into my mouth and chew, "How did you know?" I ask and take a sip of my tea. "Eleanor told us about your visit to the hospital." Mom says. I nod and quickly finish my breakfast, "I'll be at my room playing some video games." I say and make my way upstairs and lock the door.

Sliding to the ground with my back to the door, I stare at the blue bottle where ¾ of it was left. I didn't like lying to my parents, but I don't want them to worry about me. I've been taking sneaky pills here and there but I only used it when I was around a lot of people and when I absolutely had to. _"Maybe I should try to go through the entire day without taking those pills."_ I thought.

With a sigh, I began walking towards my television and sat on my Totoro beanbag. "What shall I plaaaaaaaaaaaay..." I thought out loud. Deciding to crush some people on Mario Kart, I played until my phone rang. "I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A RACE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" I shouted angrily. I quickly glanced at my phone and noticed it was Zach who was calling me. I ditched the race almost immediately and picked up the ringing phone, answering the call, "You know, you are one lucky guy. I ditched a Mario Kart race and I was in first place too." I say. " _Aww, that makes me feel loved."_ Zach says. I laugh and sat down again on the beanbag, "So, what's up?" I ask.

" _I...I'm not sure how to tell you this Stella. Have...have you seen Phil?"_ Zach asks after a few minutes of silence. "No, but I'm going to see him today actually. His mom is going to meet my parents and stuff. They'll be staying until dinner, why do you ask?" I say, slightly worried where this might be going. " _Well...I don't know if he really is for you Stella. Did you go online on Facebook?"_ Zach asks. "N-no. Why? I'm gonna go online right now." I say while grabbing my laptop and starting it up. " _Stella wait; before you do...how much do you love Phil?"_ he asks. "I love him so much that I don't know how I survived life without him." I say. I go online on Facebook and scroll through the News Feed, " _Stella just know that I love you—as a friend of course—and I don't want to hurt you but...I think you have to know something about what happened at school."_ Zach says. "What are you—" I was cut short from seeing something I never dreamed of.

 _There, a picture of Amy and Phil caught making out spread around on Facebook among us._

"Z-Zach? Wha...what is this?" I stutter. I hear Zach wince from the other side of the line, "Look, Stella I think you need to end this." He says. "I—what—he's coming over for god's sake!" I exclaim, my eyes brimming with tears. I read the comments as well, _"Isn't Phil, like, Stella's boyfriend?" "OMG I ship #PHAMY" "Amy was Zach's ex right? The feels is taking over"_

"Let go of him Stella. Stop this; you're better off without him." Zach says. Then I hear a knock on my door and a maid tells me Phil and his mom is downstairs. I nod and wait until I hear the door shut, "Zach...I've got something to do. I'll talk to you later." I say. " _Yeah, sure. Bye!"_ Zach says, oddly happy. I end the call and shut my laptop down while wiping my tears away. Once I looked normal, I took a deep breath and went downstairs. As soon as my eyes saw Phil's smile, only one word swirled in my head like a tornado.

 ** _Traitor._**

We were all sat around the table. Phil was sat beside his mom and I was sat in between my parents across him. Linda and my parents seem so immersed in their conversation that they don't realise that Phil and I were sat there awkwardly. I avoid all contact to anyone because even until now my eyes still had tears.

"Stella? Something wrong?" Phil asks. My heart suddenly feels like it's been ripped out and he's stepping on it, "I forgot something upstairs." I say and dash up the stairs and run to the safety of my room. A certain blue flashes up innocently on my table and I make a lounge for it and pop the cover open, not taking just one pill but three. I was about to down all three at once until my door opens and there stood the person I wanted to murder.

"What are you doing here?" I ask darkly. Phil seems to flinch and walk towards me, "What are those pills?" he asks. I keep my hand with the pills in a tight fist and turn to face Phil, "This is the only thing that keeps me happy. You used to make me happy as well, but that has changed." I say. "What do you mean? Stella, what happened?" Phil asks his eyes wide. "What happened? What happened is that you were off making out with my best friend's ex!" I shout. Phil seemed quiet before he tilted his head, "Whose ex? Zach's ex?" he asks. In frustration, I decided to show Phil what I meant. Starting my laptop on, I showed him the picture and he didn't speak a word and I took this as him caught guilty. Then he laughed.

"You actually believe that?" Phil asks. I just stared at him and he stopped laughing and he looked at me and frowned, "You _do_ believe that." He mutters. I looked down, tears falling on the soft carpet, "I don't want to. What we had—you probably don't know but I mean it when I said that you make me happy without my pills. I wasn't happy, I never was. Until you came along and suddenly everything isn't important." I say. "If you really are a thing with Amy, then I guess that means we aren't a couple." My voice was cracking so much I'm surprised I could still make coherent words. "C-can we at least still stay as friends? P-please? You may not need me anymore but-Phil Lester I am madly in love with you and I'm falling so hard I don't think I'll ever reach the ground!" I shouted.

The silence was so uncomfortable that I just wanted to run to my bed and hide under my duvet. Then I was wrapped in familiar, strong, warm arms and I never felt so much at home. "It's not really Stella, don't worry. You don't have to panic about me looking at other girls because you're the only girl I need in my life." Phil whispers in my ear. "Well, and my mom. I need you and my mom in my life." He adds. I laugh softly and turn around to hug him tightly, "I love you so much." I whisper, my voice hoarse from crying and screaming. "I love you more." Phil says while wiping my tears away. Smiling, we both lean in for a kiss. It wasn't rushed, it was slow and passionate and it was utter bliss.

After all that drama, we just decided to crash on my bed and stare at my ceiling in the dark with our favourite bands playing on my speaker. I was sat up, my hands running through Phil's soft hair while he has his head resting on my lap. "Do you think Zach set this up?" I say. Phil opens his eyes and stares at me, "No, I don't think so. He's your best friend Stella! Best friends don't do that. Yeah, they do pranks and stuff but jokes don't go as far as something serious to you—your relationship with me for example." He says. I sigh, "Yeah, your right. But Zach...he's very demanding and even I can't handle that when he turns into an ordering bi—"

"Language Stella." Phil cuts in laughing a little. I laugh with him and plant a kiss on his forehead, "Sorry, I got wound up. You know how I am." I say. Phil smiles, "I'm glad I woke up late for school that Friday." He says while sitting up and wrapping his arms around me. I hug back and nestle into his warmth, "I love you." I whisper. "I love you too." He whispers back.

I don't remember how we got Linda and my parents to have Phil sleep with me but I'm glad that we did because that night I didn't need to take any sleeping pills. When Phil saw me sat on my side of the bed about to down a pill he stopped me, took my hand, and brought me in a tight hug that I just fell asleep instantly with no dreams but it was great.

"Hey...star...wake up we over slept." A voice whispered while shaking me gently. I opened one eye and saw Phil's bright blue eyes staring back down at my green ones. "Good morning." I say my voice slightly croaky. Phil chuckles a little and brushes the hair out of my face, "Good morning to you too." He says and pecks my cheek. With a smile I get out of bed and run a hand through my hair, "How come your hair is still in order? I get a quiff when I wake up." Phil remarks. I wink and show him a bottle of hair spray that I put when I sleep, "This is my secret." I say and walk into my bathroom and splash some water on my face.

Walking back out, I see Phil look at a picture frame that held a picture of me surfing. I had my black and blue gear on with my green, white and black surfboard—smiling at the camera as I ride my biggest wave yet. "That was a good day. I was riding the biggest wave I have ever surfed on and I wish I could just go back there and surf again." I say. Phil looks back at me and smiles, "I wish I could repeat the day I was running towards that angel that crashed on the school stairs." He says and winks. I laugh and punch him lightly on the shoulder, "You when you were running towards me, I thought I was going back to heaven with your light." I say. Phil laughs a long, "We make an odd pair." He says. I nod and hug him from behind, "That's what makes us special." I say.

Going down for breakfast was really awkward with my mom already sat there. "Good morning you two! Any funny business last night?" Mom asks. Phil and I go bright red, "No we didn't mom. Just cause we are both seventeen doesn't me we are raging horny teenagers." I say and sit at my usual spot with Phil beside me. Phil and my mom laugh, "Well, that's one way to put it." Phil says, clearly amused. "I'm sorry for just randomly sleeping over at your house Mrs. Kennedy." Phil adds. "Oh it's alright. Linda expects you home by five in the afternoon since you both have classes tomorrow." Mom says. Phil and I both eat our cereal and head upstairs to play some video games.

"Let's go out." Phil says while putting his controller down. I roll my eyes, "Why? Is it because I'm beating your ass in playing games?" I ask. Phil laughs a little, "Yeah...and also because I want to spend time with my girlfriend." He says. I smile and stop the game while standing up, "Its three right now, we've got time to kill." I say and walk to my closet. I pick out some black skinny jeans, a white top with a black bird and some gray flats. I get my outfit and walk into my bathroom and wink, "No peeking." I say and shut the door while quickly dressing up; laughing as I hear Phil's sound of disappointment. I walk out and squint as I realise that I forgot my glasses. I walk around and wave my arms around, "Phil? I lost my glasses." I say. I hear Phil laugh behind me and I whip around to be clenched in a tight embrace, "I've got you." He says. Then, I felt the sensation of my glasses being slipped on and I smile as I see Phil dressed up as well in proper clothes—a blue bottom-up shirt, black skinny jeans and some black vans.

Phil's glasses are nowhere to be seen which is odd because he also has terrible eyesight like me. "Where are your glasses? Can you see?" I ask. Phil smiles while tapping his backpack, "My glasses are in my backpack. I've got my contacts on so don't worry." He says. I nod, "Oh, I don't really like contacts. I only put them on unless I can't have my glasses on." I say. We both walk out of the house after telling my mom when I'll be back and head straight for the park.

"You know, it's weird how in daylight we can't see the stars but we know they are there... I wonder why we can't see the stars the same time we see the sun." Phil says. "That's because the sun outshines all those stars and planets. We can still see the moon since it's just reflecting the sun's light." I say. "Right, leave it to the all honours student to explain things." Phil says while rolling his eyes. I laugh and snuggle closer to his side as we lay down on the cold grass, "I might be an honours but that doesn't mean I don't make mistakes. I'm not perfect, nor is this world." I say while staring at Phil's eyes, "Perfect people are the oblivious ones who can't see the pain that other people go through. The imperfect people understand their flaws and either accept it or just don't deal with it." I rant on.

Even with me complaining about life and how unfair it may be, Phil doesn't mind it at all. He listens carefully and adds his own opinions as well and just like how he listened to me, I listened to him as well. "We're so different." Phil says in the end. I frown and look away until I felt Phil's hand on my cheek to force me to look into his eyes, "And I like being different." He says with a smile. I smile back and lean in to kiss him, "I love you." I say. "I love you too." He replies.

"Why are you still with that cheating low-life!?" Zach asks as he sees Phil and I holding hands. I lean my head on Phil, "Its fake Zach. The powers of Photoshop. Zach's eyes widen and then he nods, "Oh...okay then." He says while looking down, "I've got English. Bye." He says abruptly and walks away in a rushed manner. Phil and I look at each other, "What was that about?" he asks. I shrug, "No idea." I say.

Word of the picture spread and soon new rumours and gossip was around. "Ugh, all this drama is giving me a headache." I moan while hugging Phil tightly. Phil hugs back while running his fingers through my hair, "Don't listen to me, just listen to my voice." He says in a soothing way. I nod and listen to him as he rants about something and I just close my eyes while listening. Slowly, the only thing I can hear is Phil's voice and our synchronised hearts beating. "We'll get through this, okay?" he says. I nod, "Okay." I echo.

* * *

"STELLA!"

Turning around, I see Phil in a toga with a smile. I walk towards him and we both hug, "We're done with this hell!" I say happily. Phil nods and kisses my cheek, "You're the valedictorian too! I'm so proud of you my sweet little star." He says. I smile, "You've done well too. Second honour? Who would have thought that a student that isn't from the honours classes could get that spot?" I ask. Phil winks, "That's how I roll." He says.

"Stella dear!" Mom calls. I turn around and smile at mom, "Hey! What's up?" I ask. Mom and Dad are now making their way towards Phil and I with a huge grin, "Guess who passed her NASA entrance exam?" Mom asks while waving a white envelop in front of my face with NASA's symbol on it. With wide eyes, I take the envelope and open it. "Did I actually?" I ask. Taking the envelope out I read the letter,

" _Dear Stella Kennedy,_

 _Congratulations! You have passed our test. Starting next month, you will begin your training to reach for the stars."_

I look at Phil with a grin, "I PASSED!" I exclaim happily and hug my boyfriend tightly. Phil laughs and hugs me just as tight, "I'm so happy for you!" he says. I continue to read the letter but my smile slowly fades, "I'll be training for five years. I won't be able to visit you and neither can you visit me at the station." I say sadly.

Phil holds my cheek with his hand gently, "Hey, at least we can talk right? Also your training will begin once I'm in college so don't worry about me having nothing to do." He says. I sigh and hug him tightly, "I just...I just want to spend more time with you." I say softly. "And you have! For two years we have been in a relationship and I don't regret a single day with you. We didn't even have an argument! Besides, I don't want to stop you for reaching your dream." Phil says. I smile and kiss him, "You're the best boyfriend ever." I say. Phil winks, "You bet I am." He says.

"Hey Phil! How are you? Are you doing fine in college? I hope you are." I say while staring at the camera. Phil and I decided to communicate by sending each other little video logs so we can see and hear each other. "I heard that you got five hundred thousand subscribers on YouTube and I'm so proud of you. Your hair in the first videos is slightly weird though, I think it would have been better if it was black and in its fringe way. You and your ginger hair just make me laugh but hey, I love you and I don't care what you look like. And all those mean comments? Don't listen to them. They don't know the true you yet, but I do and I'm telling you this right now; _you are the most optimistic person I've ever met. Even when you were bullied and when I couldn't help you, you still see the light in the darkness around you._ I love you Phil Lester; don't you ever forget that." I say then chuckle.

"Sorry, got a bit ahead of myself. Anyway, today we had this weird training thing where we were sat in some sort of weird contraption thing that looked like the one from the movie with kids being astronauts. The one where you spin in 360 degrees? Yeah, that one. A lot of my colleagues vomited afterwards but I didn't; I found it really fun! Man, I'm so weird." I say while picking up the camera and walking to my bed,

"Just three more days Phil-three more days until I get to live with you and your best friend Dan. From all those videos you two do together, I can't help but think you two look so cute which is weird because you're straight and you're my boyfriend as well. But either way, your friendship is so cute. Zach and I used to be like that but after that picture incident, it's safe to say he's a twat." I say. "Well, I have to go to bed now. I'll see you soon my sweet light!" I say happily and end the recording while walking towards my computer and uploading the video to the computer to send to Phil.

"We're you making a video for Phil?" Franziska—one of my colleagues and my best friend from Germany—asks with a smile. I smile back, "Yeah I did." I say happily as I see the video was sent to Phil quickly. I turn my swivel chair around and sigh in relief, "Three more days Franziska! Three more days until I get to see those blue eyes I've always dreamed off." I say. Franziska rolls her eyes and sits on her own office chair, "You mean, three days unless you aren't assigned a mission." She corrects me.

I look back at my desktop where the screensaver was a picture of Phil and I, "Well...I doubt they would assign me a mission immediately. I just finished all the training." I reason. "Yes but you're the best one Stella. The commander is planning to add you to the group of people who will go to galaxy X72331Y." Franziska says. I stare at her, "R-really? But the travelling times there are insane! A day there is a year here!" I say. "Oh my god, what if I _do_ get commissioned to that? I won't see Phil for so long!" I add.

"Well, Ms. Kennedy, I'm afraid that you _are_ assigned that mission." A deep voice says. Franziska and I turn around and look at our doorway where Commander Terran with his arms crossed, a serious look on his face. With a nervous glance at Franziska, we both stood up and saluted at him and he nodded before walking towards me, "Stella, I'm afraid you won't be able to see Phil. You'll be joining the mission to galaxy X72331Y. You'll be having an extra week of training and immediately after those seven days will be your departure." Commander Terran says. My eyes widen, "With all due respect sir, I would love to join that mission but I haven't seen Phil for years! I miss him so much and I know that I shouldn't let emotions overtake my actions that it might lead to failure of the mission but he—I—" by then, tears were streaming down my face and my voice was cracking so much.

Commander Terran frowned and brought me in a tight hug. I was tense at first until I gave in to this warmth, "I understand Stella. That's why I'm letting you go today to London. We already have your ticket going there and your ticket going back and we have provided you a suitcase to be packed with your stuff. You've got five days max, any longer and you'll be out of the mission." He says. I smile and wipe the tears away while pulling away from the hug and saluting, "Thank you so much sir Terran!"I exclaim happily. Commander Terran smiles, "Call me Clay, and enjoy your holiday." He says and gives me my ticket and leaves the room.

I turn to look at Franziska and we both scream in delight and hug each other tightly, "I'M GOING TO LONDON!" I exclaim happily. I look down at my tickets and realize there is another set of two-way tickets to Germany. I smirk and shove the tickets to Germany to Franziska, "Guess who also has a holiday?" I ask. Franziska tilts her head and looks at the tickets before smiling, "I'm going home." She says happily. We both began to clean our room and see two suitcases with our names. I take the black one with my name while Franziska takes the red one with hers, "This is going to be epic." I say while packing.

" _Thank you for flying with us! We hope you enjoy your flight."_ A voice over the intercom speaks. With my backpack and my suitcase with me, I was walking out of the airport with a grin. I looked down at my phone which NASA has provided for me. Unlocking it, I see Phil already registered in my contacts. I quickly message him,

" _Guess who is in London early? –S Xxx"_

The response was almost immediate,

" _OMG are you actually here!? –P Xxx"_

" _Of course you spoon. Can you be a good boyfriend and pick your girlfriend up at the airport at gate three? –S Xxx"_

" _I can! In fact, I'm already in a taxi right now. Wait for me okay? I'm bringing Dan along. -P Xxx"_

" _Ok, can't wait :) –S Xxx"_

Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I sit on the tacky seats near gate three. Its weird hearing the people around me speak, they all sound a bit like Phil while I had my American accent. I decided to listen to some music that I downloaded on my phone, my feet tapping along with the beat. Eventually, I see the familiar flop of black hair in a fringe and height accompanied by an also familiar flop of brown hair going the opposite direction and being slightly taller. I rip my earphones out of my ears and shove them in my pocket along with my phone and run towards the pair with my backpack and my suitcase, "Phil! " I exclaim happily.

Phil turns to the direction of my voice and a smile breaks on his face while he runs towards me and gives me a bone crushing hug, "You're here. You're actually here. My god, I missed you so much." He says, tears streaming down his face. I smile and wipe his tears away, "I miss you too. I'm here and I can't believe it either." I say softly. Phil eventually gets himself together and carries my suitcase for me then he realizes Dan just standing there awkwardly, "Oh yeah, Stella, this is my best friend and my flatmate Dan Howell." He says. I smile and shake Dan's hand, "Hello, I'm Stella Kennedy." I say politely. Dan seems to grit his teeth, "I've heard a lot about you from Phil." He says. I don't mention how tense he is so I just decided to be nice and don't mention it. The three of us make our way to a taxi and soon we arrive at where Phil and Dan live in.

Their flat is quite big and I'm impressed in their job. "Your place is nice guys." I say. "Yeah, but there are quite a lot of stairs." Phil says. I just roll my eyes, "You just don't want to do exercise. Are my parents still sending you some cash?" I ask. Phil nods, "Yeah, even when we don't need it, they are very persistent so we use the money to help make our videos and get better cameras and stuff." He says. Phil shows me his room where I'll be sleeping with him and I laugh as I notice he still has the same bedding, "Really? The same blue and green bedding? Wow Phil, I guess some things don't change eh?" I ask and lie down on the bed and sigh in content. Phil laughs, "Don't lie, you love it." He says and lays down beside me.

"How long will you stay?" Phil asks. I tense a little and look away, "Five days." I say. Phil sits up and looks at me with wide eyes, "Five days? That's not enough days." He says. I flinch and sit up as well and stare back at his bright blue eyes that I miss so much, "I'm...I'm assigned a mission so I'll be having extra training and soon after that I'll be going to a new galaxy." I say. Phil smiles and hugs me tightly, "That's good right?" he asks happily. When he notices my silence he pulls away from the hug and frowns, "That's good right? You finally get to go to space." He says.

A few tears stream down my face and I refuse to look back at the sad eyes, "I—the galaxy—listen Phil," I say while turning to face him and hold his hands tightly, "the galaxy I'll be going to is labelled galaxy X72331Y. While it may seem good news to me, it isn't for the both of us. Galaxy X72331Y has a different time like any other planet out there—like going to Mars take two Earth years. In this new galaxy, one day there is a year here on Earth." I say. Phil is shaking, tears streaming down his face as well, "How...how long will you stay there?" he asks. I sigh, "A week and three days." I say. Phil's eyes widen, "TEN YEARS! YOU'LL BE GONE FOR TEN YEARS!?" He screams. I sigh and hug him, "Phil, calm down. We'll work something out like always." I say. Phil rips away from my embrace and stand at the foot of the bed, "N-no! I can't take this anymore Stella! You're always off and away! What about me!? Have you thought about how I feel about this!?" he shouts some more. I stand up and glare at him, "Of course I do! Darn it Phil, you're always on my mind! Do you think I want to leave you!? No! I don't! I hate it! But I don't want to miss on this opportunity!" I shout back.

We both glare at each other before our gazes soften and we embrace tightly, "I'm sorry Phil, I love you so much and you know that." I say. "I'll...I'll make two videos every day when I'm in galaxy X72331Y that way you have two videos every year. If you want I'll make five videos per day! We'll work something out just like always. D-don't give up on us Phil, don't give up on me." I continue. Phil sighs and kisses me; it was slow but full of love.

"I will never give up on us. Ever since we were those awkward seventeen to now—successful twenty-three year olds...Those five years without you, I realised that I need you. Those short videos you send me every week inspired me and now I'm a Youtuber along with my best friend. Your videos give me hope of being back into your embrace and seeing those beautiful green eyes that trap me in a dream that I never want to wake up from." Phil says. "Stella Kennedy, I am _never_ giving up on us." He says. We both lean in and kiss, it was rushed and our bodies were pressed tightly together as if we can't be any closer. "I love you." I whisper, "I love you too." Phil whispers back.

Eventually we pull away from the sound of Phil's stomach growling in hunger. I laugh, "Shall I cook dinner?" I ask. Phil nods eagerly, "Yes please, I miss your cooking." He says while leading me to the kitchen where Dan is drinking some water. "Hello Dan! What do you fancy for dinner?" I ask. Dan shrugs, "Whatever you like, surprise me." He says and walks away. I smile and push Phil towards Dan, "Leave me to it; you spend some time with Dan." I say. Phil was about to argue before sighing and doing as I told him to. I smirk, "Oh I know _exactly_ what to cook." I say while defrosting some chicken breast.

"What are you—oh _wow_ that smells good." Dan says while walking towards me. I smile, "Why thank you! I take pride in my cooking skills." I say. "Can I help?" he asks. I nod, "Could you set up the table? Oh, and call Phil because dinner is reeeeaaaaady!" I say happily. Dan nods and grabs three plates and some cutlery and bringing it to the dining table. I place the meal on a serving plate and pour some of the sauce around it and putting the extra in a little cup. I bring the meal to the dining table and smile as I see Phil and Dan eyeing the chicken hungrily.

I place the dishes down in the middle of the table and sit down, "I hope you too like it." I say. Phil and Dan immediately dig in, "Oh my—this is sooo goooood." Dan says, his eyes slightly shut. I smile, "Good, it's called Chicken Kiev. A recipe I learned from my parent's top chef." I explain. We all eat and chat and it was great. Then Dan suddenly looks at Phil with wide eyes, "Phil, we forgot to plan our radio show!" he exclaims. I tilt my head, "Radio show?" I ask. Phil seems to be worried as well and he looks at me, "Dan and I run a radio show and a lot of our subscribers listen to it." He says. I nod then a smile creeps on my face, "I've got an idea." I say.

The next day, Phil, Dan and I were making our way towards the radio booth where I'll be making an appearance. "Guys, you'll be airing in one minute!" a guy says. The three of us were ushered to a microphone and were given a headset. I put mine on and smiled as Phil and Dan did the same, "Remember, you're also being seen live." Dan says. I nod, "Alright, I'm ready." I say.

"Hello! And you're listening to Phil and Dan with a very special guest from space!" Phil says happily. "Well, from NASA but still, she will be going to space." Dan says. "She's even wearing her astronaut suit—or is she? You'll have to find out by watching us live on the radio's website!" Phil says in a mysterious voice. I laugh, "Hello! I'm Stella Kennedy and I'm NASA's American representative!" I say. "We're so glad to have you here on our show Stella and from what I know from Phil, you two are actually dating?" Dan asks. Phil and I blush, "Yeah, we are. Sorry fangirls, he's mine!" I say while hugging Phil to which everyone in the radio booth laugh. I let go and smile at Phil, "Yeah, Stella and I have been dating since we were in high school. After we graduated, Stella got accepted by NASA while I got accepted by University of Manchester." Phil says. "Yeah, I had a five year intense training and now I'll be going to a whole new galaxy in a few days!" I say.

"So Stella, what's the name of this galaxy you'll be going to?" Dan asks. "It's got a weird name honestly. It's called galaxy X72331Y." I say. "What? X7 something something something—you lost me. Why is it called that?" Phil asks. "It's called X72331Y because it's the galaxy's coordinates." I explain. "Oooooh I see. How long will you stay?" Dan asks. "I'll be staying there for a week and three days which is ten years on Earth time." I say. "Wow that sounds so sad. You'll be separated even farther away from Phil." Dan says but something about his voice seems off but I seem to be the only one to notice it so I don't say anything. "Yeah, so we'll be making most of our time together." I say.

"Stella, you told us that you can request NASA to bring some things to space? Can you tell us a bit more about that?" Phil asks. "Well, yeah. You'll be gone for so long so NASA is allowing us to bring one thing to space on our journey. It has to be an object though so that's the hard thing." I explain. "What would you bring?" Dan asks. "I would probably bring a Wi-Fi router to space." I say. "What? Without a laptop?" Phil asks. We all laugh, "No, the pod already has computers. All it needs is some internet." I say. "What would you guys bring if you can request _anything_?" I ask. "I'd probably bring a llama." Dan says. The three of us laughed, "A llama? Yeah, I think NASA can provide that. What about you Phil?" I ask while turning to face him. "I would probably bring a life-sized lion plushee!" Phil says happily. I roll my eyes, "Typical honestly." I say. "Yeah, what about you guys? What would you guys request NASA for you to bring along on your space adventure? Place in your answers in Twitter using the '#SpaceItem' and we'll read out our favourite ones." Dan says. "For now, here's Space Odessy in honour of our guest." Phil says.

"That was so much fun." I say while walking up the stairs in the flat. "Yeah, the staff loved it and some of our fans did too." Phil says. "Thanks for saving our show Stella." Dan says. I smile, "No problem. I'm full of ideas you know." I say with a wink. "Literally, you two are the weirdest pair." Dan says with a laugh.

Phil wraps his arms around me while resting his chin on my head, "I'm the weird one, and she's the smart one. She actually inspired me in making the Seven Second Challenge." He says. I blink and look up at him, "Wait, you used that video of me speaking to you in seven seconds because I was in the middle of training?" I ask. Phil laughs, "Yeah, you were so rushed and your face was really flushed from the 360 training.

Then you looked at the camera and smiled and went ' _And that's how you speak to people in seven seconds while doing the 360 spin training. I probably shouldn't do that—I might've dropped the camera.'._ So yeah I was like, _'what other things could you do in seven seconds?'_ and decided to make it a challenge." He explains. I blush, "I nearly forgot to make you a video, so I made a video and do training at the same time. Worst idea I've ever had." I mutter.

"Well, your worst idea became the best one on YouTube and on the radio show." Dan says. "I guess so. Anyway, I'll make some dinner. You guys do whatever the hell you guys do. Record a video or whatever." I say while walking to my room and changing into comfy house clothes while grabbing my phone and my speakers. I make my way to the kitchen and play some music, my phone vibrating from the speakers. I sing along while cooking some fish pie, my feet tapping to the beat. "I! Don't! Care what you think as long as it's about me!" I shout, using the masher as a microphone. "CAUGHT RED HANDED!" Someone shouted. I yelped and grabbed a knife while pointing it at the doorway where Dan was stood there with a laptop. "Don't stab me!" Dan exclaims while stepping back. I sigh and put the knife back, "Jesus—don't scare me like that! I was in the zone!"I say while lowering the music. "Wait, are you filming me?" I ask while looking past the laptop's camera and straight at Dan, one of my eyebrows raised. Dan chuckles, "The internet wants to know who's singing along to Fall Out Boy's really old single ' _I Don't Care'_ and you are the culprit." He says.

I blush a little and look at the camera on the laptop, "Hello people of YouNow! I'm Stella and _yes_ I'm the one who's singing. I was cooking some dinner." I say while walking back to the stove and checking the oven where the fish pie is being baked. "They're asking what's for dinner." Dan says while sitting by the breakfast bar and watching me make the sauce of the pie. "We're having some fish pie." I say and pour the sauce in a bowl. "It'll take twenty minutes to bake." I say while sitting beside Dan. "Join me on my live show." Dan says while dragging my chair closer to his. I roll my eyes, "Alright. Where's Phil?" I ask. "He's editing a video." Dan replies.

Dan and I answer and chat with the people on the live show. "' _Stella you're ugly',_ " I read out loud and roll my eyes, "Why thanks for stating the obvious Fiona222; I'm going for that zombie look." I say. Dan whistles, "And that's why you do not mess with the valedictorian of an American high school." He says. I laugh and snap my fingers in a 'Z' formation, "Girl, I will burn you so hard that not even the fire department can put your flame out!" I say with a girly accent. Dan laughs, "Oh wow, shots fired!" he exclaims. "' _Wait, you're from America?'_ Yes I am from America. Shall I sing our national anthem?" I ask with a smirk.

"Oh god—please don't." Dan says while covering his face with his hands. I chuckle, "Nah, I won't. _'What high school did you go to?'_ I went to Golden Fields Academy. I met Phil there when we were Juniors and I have always been an honours student." I say with a smile. "Well obviously, you're the freaking _valedictorian._ " Dan says. " _'What's a valedictorian?'_ A valedictorian is what you call the first honour once you finish high school. When you're valedictorian, you get 50% or 100% off in paying for your college fees or whatever University you'll be going to. I'm not sure since I didn't use that because I got immediately accepted by NASA so I gave that to Phil." I explain. "' _So you're really smart?'_ Well, I mean come on— _first honour_ Natalie. Go ask me a question." I challenge.

"' _What is the cell membrane?'"_ Dan asks, reading the question out loud from the chat. I smile, "Oh that's easy. The cell membrane—otherwise known as the plasma membrane—separates the inner cell parts from the outside. Kind of like the border patrol, it also controls what goes in the cell and what goes out of the cell." I say.

It goes on like this and eventually everyone just gets bored asking me questions based on knowledge and begin asking about my personal life. "Yeah, guys, Stella here is a rich kid." Dan says. I roll my eyes, "Am not." I say. "Her parents have vacation houses _everywhere._ " He stresses out. I chuckle a little, "Okay, that part is true but I don't classify us as _rich_ , I just like to think my parents are just really hard working. That's it really." I say. "You're so humble." Dan mutters. I smirk, "Well, you're the one who said that I'm rich. I don't spend a lot of money honestly." I say with a shrug. Dan snorts, " _'I don't spend a lot of money'_ says the girl who literally owns five different surfboards, three skateboards, three penny boards, two bikes, four different cars and one of them being a Lamborghini, half of your wardrobe is branded or designers clothes, three different laptops—" by this point, I got annoyed of Dan and cover his mouth with my hand, "Aaaaand that's enough things to disclose to the internet. The rest is classified information." I say.

Dan shakes his head and I retract my hand, "You're so strange." He says with a laugh. I laugh along, "I don't call it _strange_ , I call it _peculiarly different_." I say while pointing a finger at him. Checking the time on my phone, I stood up and walked to the oven where the fish pie is finished. I put some gloves on and take the steaming hot pie out of the oven, smiling as Dan abruptly stopped mid-sentence and smelled the air. "That smells soooo gooooood." Dan drawls out. I chuckle, "Right, wrap up your live show so you can get the first piece of the pie." I say. Dan springs to action and quickly says good bye to his fans—ending the live show faster than I expected. "I'll go call Phil, you set up the table." I say while removing the gloves and walking out of the kitchen.

I go up to the office where Phil is staring at the screen, typing and clicking away. I knock softly on the door and catch Phil's attention, "Why don't you take a break? I cooked fish pie for dinner and Dan won't stop drooling." I say with a little laugh. Phil turns his chair and rubs his eyes with a smile, "Typical of him. Food is his weakness but his ultimate one is Maltesers." he says. I pull him out of his chair in a standing position and hugged him tightly, "I love you." I whispered. Oddly, he tensed a little before relaxing into my touch, "I love you too." He whispered back. I didn't mention it and just decided to ignore and it and pass it off as stress.

We both walked downstairs and found Dan getting another slice of fish pie, "What are the ingredients in this delicious concoction?" he asked with a mouth full of potato and fish. "Well there's fish-obviously, mashed potatoes, butter, onions, carrots, chicken cube, a tiny bit of milk, and a little bit of cornflower." I say. Phil and I sit on our chairs and the three of us eat and mingle like how old friends do.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" Phil asks me. I sigh, "I've got nothing planned tomorrow unless you two have something to do. I'll probably just stay indoors." I say while taking a sip from my glass. "I'll be going out tomorrow to meet an old friend of mine. What about you Dan?" Phil asks. Dan just pushes his food around his plate after his seventh piece of pie, "I'll just stay here as well. I've got nothing." He says. After finishing our meal, we all clean up the table and go to our rooms—Phil and I in his room while Dan in his own.

"Bye guys." Dan says and slams his door shut. I stood there with wide eyes, "Okay then." I mutter and follow Phil in his room and shut the door quietly. Phil himself seems so tired, just sprawled across his bed and sighing loudly. I walk towards him and lie down beside him, "Is something troubling my little star?" I ask softly. Phil looks at me and chuckles a little before pulling me closer, "It's nothing major. As long as my light is still shining, I'll be fine." He says. I smile and push my glasses up my nose, "Oh don't worry, your light will _always_ be shining no matter how far or near it is." I say. We both smile at each other; our eyes locked in each other's. Phil breaks it and kisses my forehead softly, "I love you." He murmurs. "I love you too." I answer back. And just like that, we fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

I woke up alone on Phil's bed with a note on his side of the bed. I stretch a little and pick up the note,

" _Good morning my sweet little light! :) I went ahead already. Dan is probably still sleeping and usually I make his coffee so since I'm away you'll have to make it for me. Half a cup of milk and two spoons of sugar. I'll see you soon –P Xxx"_

I smile and put the note on the bedside table. Getting out of bed, I frown as I see piles and piles of clothes on the floor, all inverted. I laugh a little and clean up the mess Phil left and made the bed. Running a hand through my hair I go to the kitchen and make a cup of coffee for Dan and I.

"Did Phil leave already?" a voice asks behind me. I nearly drop my coffee and curse, "Don't scare me like that!" I squeak. Dan laughs, "Sorry, it's amusing." He says. I roll my eyes and pass him his cup of coffee. He takes it with narrowed eyes and takes a tentative sip—immediately after that his eyes widen, "How do you know my coffee mix?" he asks and takes another sip. I wink, "I know _everything_ remember?" I joke and take a sip of my own coffee. "Nah, just playing with your head. Phil left me a message about it since he says that he makes your coffee so I made it in his place." I say while showing him the note that I kept in my pocket.

Dan nods and walks to the lounge while I make two bowls of cereal. After filling it with some milk, I somehow bring the two bowls and my cup of coffee to the lounge without spilling anything. Dan sees me struggling and laughs while taking one of the bowls of cereal from me, "You could have asked for help." He says. I roll my eyes and sit down beside him, "Well you're in your internet browsing position." I say while gesturing to his laptop beside him that is currently opened to his Tumblr. "Mm, true." He says and puts his laptop back on his lap and continues scrolling while taking a few spoons of cereal in his mouth.

I take a spoon of my cereal and check my phone. There, I see a video message from Franziska. With a smile, I tap it and watch the video,

 _"Hey Stella! I'm here in Germany right now and it's snowing mad." Franziska says while showing the camera around her surroundings where snow is everywhere. Franziska is dressed in heavy snow clothes but the smile on her face is contagious, "Everyone here is very welcoming. It's great to be back but honestly I miss you. But even if I go back to NASA, you'll be in galaxy X72331Y so I hope you get this video because this is the fourth time I've made this take." Franziska says with a huff. "Anyway, I hope you're doing well in London. You're probably kissing the life out of Phil." She says before chuckling. "I'll see you soon little sis, bye!" Franziska says and the video ends._

"I wanna visit Germany." I say with a pout. Dan hears me and looks at me, "Why? Do you know anyone from Germany?" he asks. I nod while showing him a picture of Franziska and I posing in front of Clay who's trying not to laugh at the cat whiskers we drew on our faces, "My best friend is from Germany. Her name is Franziska Von Kaerma." I say while pointing to the tall girl beside me in the picture. I tapped on the icon to make a video message to Franziska and I looked at my phone's camera with a wide smile, "Heeeeeeeeeeeey I got your video. I haven't seen snow in such a long time so thanks for making me jealous." I say and roll my eyes. Dan snickers in the background and I pointed the camera so both of us can be seen in the shot, "This is Dan, Phil's best friend. Say hello you awkward turnip." I ordered. Dan turns red a little before giving a little wave to the camera, "H-hello." He says timidly.

Laughing, I stand up and walk away "Dan isn't that shy. He's a Youtuber so you can check him out. Anyway, it's fun here in London. I was on the radio show with those two and it was great. We talked about space and stuff-which was my idea—and everyone liked it. I don't really have a lot to talk about... I'll see you soon then. Bye!" I say and stop the video. Watching the little bar fill up and confirm that it has been sent to Franziska. I slide my phone back in my pocket and walk back to the lounge where Dan is still scrolling through his Tumblr. I sat down beside him and felt my phone vibrate for a few seconds. I pull it out and see that I've got a message on Facebook.

I check and see that I've actually gotten fifteen massages, "Wow, who is speaking to me?" I wonder out loud. Dan glances at me for a few seconds before going back to his laptop. I check the first one and see it's from an anonymous person,

" _You're Phil's girlfriend right? Well guess what? You don't deserve him. You weren't there when he was sad, Dan was. You weren't there for him for FIVE YEARS. WAKE UP SLU—"_

I quickly looked at the other messages and realize that every single one is just about how I don't deserve Phil and how I'm a terrible girlfriend and that Dan belongs to him and not me. The worst part is that they are all from different people. In frustration, I threw my phone to the other side of the room; the screen cracking and tears spilling from my face. Dan looks at me and places his laptop on the coffee table while moving closer to me, "Hey? What's wrong?" he asks. I wipe my tears quickly, then suddenly a strangled cry escaped my lips and before I knew it I was in Dan's tight embrace.

"Phil's fans don't like me." I say after sobbing. Dan just hums while rubbing his hands up and down my back in a soothing way, "Don't listen to them Stella, you're a wonderful girl." He says. "B-but I _am_ a terrible girlfriend to Phil. I chose him over my stupid childhood dream and left him alone for five years. Five years! What has gotten into me!?" I exclaim. Dan shushes me and just rocks me back and forth, "And he was never angry at you Stella. He would always tell me how proud he was of you for pursuing your dream. At least you made an effort to communicate to him. I wouldn't have forgiven you if you left him and never spoke to him for five years and still have the nerve to call him your boyfriend." He says. I sigh, "Yeah...you're right. I wouldn't forgive myself either. But now...now I'll be running away from him too. Ten years...to be gone for ten years sounds so terrible. On one hand I'm happy to go to this new galaxy for research but at the same time I want to stay with Phil." I say.

"You'll still keep in touch with him right?" Dan asks. "Of course! Even though I'm not allowed to make contact, I'll be sure to send a video." I say. "And you love Phil with all your heart right?" Dan asks, something about his voice making me slightly nervous. Nonetheless, I nod in agreement, "Yes, I do love him...even though he is such a dork; he's _my_ dork." I say with a smile. But Dan wasn't smiling back.

"Really?" Dan asks. "Because I love that dork with all my heart too." He whispers, his voice seemingly dark. I look into Dan's eyes to see for any mischievous glint but found none. I sigh as I see tears run down Dan's face, "And it hurts you know. I wanted to hate you because you're all he ever talks about when there is no topic and I have to listen through it all. I wish it was me who he was talking about but no, it was his 'star finding its way back to the sky' as he says." By this point, Dan is full out sobbing.

I knew I had to hate him, but I couldn't. I didn't have the heart within him to scream, "Phil's mine!" so instead, I hugged him like how he hugged me earlier on. This seemed to surprise Dan but soon he melted into my touch, "W-why?" he croaks out. I look down into his teary brown eyes, "Hm?" I ask. "W-why aren't you screaming at me?" he asks in between sobs.

I smile warmly at Dan and wipe his tears away, "Because I have no right to do so. Sure, I may be his girlfriend but you're his _best friend_. I have no right to boss Phil around and after all, he never really told you but in his videos that he sends to me...he never fails to mention you. Sure, at first I got jealous but slowly I saw how selfish that was of me. You were there for Phil when I wasn't and I'm surprised that Phil didn't go mad." I explain.

Dan whimpers, "Oh stop it, I'm supposed to hate you!" he jokes. We both laugh and soon Dan's tears dried up, "We're head over heels over that dork, aren't we?" I ask. Dan nods, "Yeah, but I don't regret it." He says. "Neither do I." I say. We both look at each other and laugh over nothing but at the same time, I realize that we aren't that different to begin with.

"I see that you two are becoming close friends." A deep voice startles us both. Dan and I turn around to see a happy Phil looking at us. I glance at Dan before looking back at Phil, "You've made a good friend Phil. Be sure to treat him like how you would treat me." I say. Phil didn't understand me but Dan did who just chocked and looked at me with wide eyes. I smirk before hugging Dan, "I've made more besties!" I exclaim happily. Phil and Dan laugh and Phil joined the hug. Dan and I looked at each other and we had a mirrored smile. "You two are being weird. Don't leave me out on this!" Phil exclaims with a pout. I tap Phil's bottom lip and wink at him, "Sorry sweetie. This is just a discussion strictly for the 'Phil Lester Defence Squad' only." I say.

The three of us decided to just watch a movie while I made my special hot chocolate for all of us. Dan took a sip and his eyes went bigger in surprise, "Do I taste... _Maltesers_?" he asks. I laugh while nodding, "Yup!" I say. "How did you even add something solid to something liquid?" Dan asks me incredulously. I wink, "I'm an honours student, extreme research to create the best hot chocolate." I say. Phil hums in agreement after taking a long sip, "Whatever you made, it's definitely the drink of the gods." He says.

An hour later, the movie is finished and after saying good night to Dan, I follow Phil to our room. Phil seemed a little jumpy; he kept glancing at anything besides me. "Star? Something wrong?" I ask softly. Phil smiles, "Nothing, I just...well...this is hard to explain." He says. We both stood under the faint light at the middle of Phil's room. "I've got the time, shoot." I say.

Dan clears his throat, "Well, when I was little I thought girls were weird and honestly the only reason why I thought so because I always got rejected or cheated on. I've had girlfriends before and they lasted either two weeks or a month." He says. I remain silent and Phil continues, "All in all, I decided to give up on love and just focus on graduating. Eventually, my parents decided to move to America which I thought was the stupidest idea ever." He says.

I smile, "Do you still think that?" I ask. Phil shakes his head and smiles, "Well, back then I did. It was Friday and little Phil—being the idiot he is—forgot to change the time on his alarm and came rushing late to his new school only to find everybody gone," he then reaches out to hold my hand, "that is until I found this fallen star on the stairs of that very school. The star was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I was so scared that I would break it." He says.

I look down, "But that star already was broken. It was falling into pieces...it was different because it couldn't shine its own light unlike the other stars around it." I say then look back up at Phil's eyes and smile, "But she found a light...a light looking for a star to shine." I add. Phil smiles, "Since then, the star and the light stuck together. Other people would say they were too far away but the star and the light were so deep in each other's eyes that they couldn't focus on the others." He says.

Phil then goes down on one knee and brings out a small box. "Stella...you mean everything to me. Starting tomorrow, you'll be preparing for a whole new world—a whole new galaxy even. I want you to bring something that will remind you of our love when going out to that infinite void...something to remind you of my infinite love for you." Phil says. My eyes widen and I gasp, "P-Phil..." I mutter. "Stella...will you marry me?" Phil asks.

I wanted to scream yes and kiss him until we both ran out of breath but something in my heart felt heavy. _Guilt_. But guilt of what? Suddenly, I can see a familiar flop of brown hair at the small opening of our door. I look back at Phil and a tear streams down my face, "I...I would love to—"

Phil interrupted me and hugged me tightly. The guilty feeling was even heavier as I hear the sound of a door shut and if I listened really closely...I can hear the heart-broken sobs of Dan. "I love you so much." Phil whispers. I look into Phil's eyes and sigh, "I love you too...but someone else loves you just as much as I do sweetie." I say. Phil tilts his head, "Who? Do you mean my mom?" he asks. I roll my eyes and pull Phil to sit down with me on his bed, "No, besides your mom. This person is very close to you Phil but you don't realise that that person wants to be more than friends." I say.

The reaction was instant. Phil's jaw dropped and he pulled me into a tight embrace, the feeling of my shirt getting soaked by his tears tingled, "It's Dan...isn't it?" he asks. I sigh and nod, "Phil...as much as I would love to be your wife...I don't want to hurt anyone. Especially Dan. He has a special place in your life and I couldn't bear with the thought of hurting the poor soul." I say. Phil's small cries turn into sobs, "I have to tell you something..." he whispers. I lean in close to listen carefully, "You can tell me anything my sweet little light." I say just as soft. "I...I do have feelings for him but I was scared that you might be mad." Phil says.

I sigh and hold Phil even tighter as tears were streaming down my face once again, "And I'm not sweetie. I'm not mad, I'm happy. You deserve someone who is capable in being in your life _physically_. Don't get me wrong Phil, I love you to bits but it hurts to know that I can't be close to you. This is the fate I have brought upon me and I don't want to drag you in helping me carry it. I want you to be happy, and I know very well that you're not happy about me not being there for you. Dan on the other hand can. He can be there for you while I can't." I say every word heavy on my heart.

Phil sobs even harder, "D-don't say that!" he exclaims. I don't listen to him and continue, "You deserve someone who can keep you together while being beside you. I would have been mad if that someone isn't Dan honestly." I say with a humourless laugh. "But seriously Phil, I think you're swearing your life on the wrong person. The right person is at the other side of that wall." I say while pointing to the other wall where Dan is. I stand up and pull Phil to stand along with me. I wipe Phil's tears away and put the small box back in his back pocket while pushing him out the door and towards Dan's door.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Phil asks. _"What am I doing?"_ my brain asks, " _You're just hurting yourself Stella, stop."_ It continues. "I am not going to hurt anyone while I'm around. Do me a favour and actually use your head Phil." I say while knocking on Dan's door and opening it. There, Dan is on his bed in between the sheets sobbing his heart out. Dan looks up at us and sighs, "What do you want?" he asks. I don't look up because if I do, the tears I've been fighting so hard will fall, "Phil has something to ask you Dan dear, I'm sure you'll find yourself happy to answer it." I say while pushing Phil towards Dan and walk out of the room and shut the door quietly.

I walk into the bathroom and watch the reflection of my tears go down my face. _"It hurts doesn't it? I warned you."_ My brain thought. _"At least Phil and Dan will be happy._ " My heart argued back. I clutched my chest and slowly my right hand fished into my pocket where a certain blue bottle of pills is waiting to be opened. Once I do have it out of my pocket, I smile, "It's nice to see you again old friend." I say while popping the cover off and taking a pill. I waited for a while but I still didn't feel different. I took another, nothing. Maybe another pill? Nope. By this point, I had taken six pills already and I still felt nothing. By the tenth pill, I started to feel the pills working. I put the cover back on the bottle and keep it back in my pocket.

Walking by Dan's room, I hear a shout of joy but that doesn't surprise me. I walk into Phil's room and get my laptop, then heading upstairs to the office and turn my Skype on. I saw Franziska was online and immediately clicked on the icon for us to have a video call. A few seconds later, Franziska's face was on my screen smiling, "Hey little sis, what's up?" she asks. I smile but Franziska knew immediately it was an empty one, "It hurts." I mutter and despite the big smile on my face, the tears going down my face contradicted it.

"Did you take those pills?" Franziska asks; her face scrunched up in worry. I nod and show her the half-full bottle, "It's...it's kind of working..." I say and wipe the tears but more just go down. Franziska sighs, "That's what you get for being too nice Stella. You would rather hurt yourself than hurt others and it's not that bad but I guess you just have to deal with it. Are you still friends with Phil?" she asks. I shrug, "I...I dunno. I wish I did. I hope we still are...but it would probably be more awkward." I say. "I have a suggestion but I think it'll hurt you even more." Franziska says. I narrow my eyes, "And what idea is that?" I ask. "Ask him to just forget you. You want to get over him don't you? Then just forget him and he'll forget you too. You'll be gone for ten years while he'll be married to Dan and I doubt he'll remember you like all his other girlfriends." She says.

I stay quiet for a moment and nod in agreement. "Yeah...I should probably begin to pack up too. I'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning but knowing me, I won't sleep tonight." I say. Franziska chuckles, "You and your weird sleeping patterns." She says. I smile, "It gives me time to think." I say. "Just...just don't think too deep alright? I care about you. No homo." Franziska says while raising her hands. I laugh, "Right, no homo." I say. We chat for a bit more and eventually we had to end it. I shut my laptop down and slowly rise from my seat while looking around at the office. I turn the lights off and walk out while shutting the door, "He'll be better without me." I mutter while passing Dan's room where snores are heard. A tear goes down my face but I quickly wipe it and force a smile on my face, "They'll both be better without me."I say while packing my things and bringing my luggage to the lounge.

I take a cold shower and just stand there, letting my tears mix with the ice cold water. _"Stop crying, mom and dad wants you to stay strong."_ My brain thought. Once I was sure my tears had run out, I actually took a proper shower. I got out and dried myself and quickly dressing up in case one of the boys was awake. I put on some skinny jeans and a bottom-up shirt that Franziska bought for me as a birthday gift. I put my beanie on my head and some black socks on. Making my way to the kitchen, I made some coffee and went out to the balcony to gaze at the stars.

" _Stella what do you value most; your feelings or others feelings?" the therapist asks. I didn't even take a second to think, "Others feelings because unlike me, people have a better chance of living their own life. I don't know how to live my own so instead of worrying of my own, I would prefer to help someone with their own. I can panic about mine later on." I say; my voice soft from not using it much. "So you would rather be hurt than hurt other people?" the man asks. I nod, "I may be an introvert, but I care about the people around me." I say. The man sighs, "Stella, this trait of yours isn't bad but it isn't healthy either. You're only nine and if you keep doing this, you will hurt yourself eventually." He says. "Exactly. No one should feel pain, and I will gladly feel the pain for their own happiness." I say._

" _How would you describe yourself Stella?" The man asks. I look down at my notebook where I drew shooting stars, black holes, the planets, the dwarf planets, and different sizes of stars. "I'm just a star. I may look beautiful and pretty but the time I explode is the time I hold you tight and tell you everything will be fine when everything isn't." I say while looking back up at the therapist. "I know I can't save everyone, but I know that I can save the people I care about. I don't have a lot, but it's enough for me." I say. The therapist sighs and ruffles my hair, "You're a good kid Stella. I know that losing Emily hurts but I know that you're strong enough to deal with the pain." He says. I nod, "Emily always says to stay strong, so I will." I say._

"You know Emily...you're wrong. You say that I'm better off without you? You're wrong. You're so very wrong and I wish you could see that. You tell me to stay strong, but how can I stay strong when I'm falling to pieces? You used to hug me so tight that I become one piece but now that you're gone, I'm chipping. Nobody understands me, not even Phil, not even all those therapists, not even my parents, not even Franziska, not even Zach. You understood me, you knew my pain. Even though we are only half-sisters...I always saw you as my best friend. I know that our dad messed up and we both have two moms but hey, it brought us together." I say while looking down at my coffee mug.

"When I saw you there...just on the ground with all those bottles of pills around you...I was so scared. But when I saw your peaceful smile...I smiled as well. You were happy, and when I see you happy I'm happy." I say. "You weren't happy here, so you went back to the stars. You were such a pretty star Emily; even daddy likes you more than me." I say and even more tears were streaming but I wiped them away. "I miss you sis...I miss you so much. But I know you're happy where you are now so I won't ask you to come back to me...instead, help me. Help me to stay strong even though the pain is unbearable." I say while gazing at the stars.

I stared a little at the stars and then I realised something, "You...you never were strong. You...you just pretended...didn't you?" I ask and laugh a little. "You say that I'm the smarter sibling but honestly...you're smarter than me." I say and finish my coffee. I tear my gaze away from the sky as the stars begin to fade, the sun rising and illuminating the lounge with soft colors. I check the time, "5:06 AM" it read. I walked into the kitchen and quickly made some pancake batter and placed it in the fridge. I got a sticky note and wrote down a note, " _I left already, my flight is at 8 and I don't wanna be late. I made some pancake batter for you too, it's in the fridge. I suggest Nutella with it—seriously, you won't regret it. I won't be making any videos, but congrats on the proposal guys :) Take care of each other. See you guys in ten years! –Stella Kennedy Xxx"_

I place the note on the fridge and put my coat on. Grabbing my luggage, I walk out of the flat and go downstairs and see the taxi that I booked earlier on. Getting in, we drive to the airport in silence. I sit on the tacky chairs of the airport and once I hear that the airplane is ready, I stand up and make my way to the VIP seats.

* * *

"Stella!" a voice exclaims. I turn around and get bear hugged by my best friend Franziska. I smile and hug her back, "I miss you." I say softly. Franziska smiles and brushes the hair out of my face, "I miss you too lil' sis." She says. Together, we walk to the car that NASA has sent for us and we make our way to the station while retelling events that happened.

"I swear; you're too kind and adorable for your own good." Franziska says while pinching my cheek. I roll my eyes, "I may be short but I can kick ass." I say. Franziska quickly retracts her hand, "Right, not only are you an honours student but you've got a black belt Taekwondo." She says. I smirk, "You got that right. So unless you want a face full of pavement, I suggest you stop." I say.

"It's good to see you back Stella." Commander Terran says. I smile and salute, "Good to see you too sir Terran." I say. Commander Terran raises his eyebrow and I turn red, "I mean Clay. Good to see you too Clay." I quickly say. Clay laughs, "You'll get used to it. Anyway, hurry up and unpack. You're training as soon as possible." He says.

* * *

" _ **This is it! Humanity is taking an even bigger step to explore the new galaxy X72331Y. Will these brave astronauts succeed in their mission?"**_

"THIS IS IT PEOPLE!" Commander Terran shouts. Everyone is buzzing around, people rushing to computers and doing last minutes checks. Franziska was giving me so many hugs that it was hard to hug back through the suit, "I'll miss you big sis." I say. "I'll miss you too lil' sis." Franziska says back. "Are you ready Stella?" one of my teammates—PJ asks. I smile and nod, "Yup!" I lie as I kept my blue bottle of artificial happiness in my secret pocket. There were five of us on the team; PJ, John, Jack, Amy, and I. John and Jack are together while Amy is engaged to Commander Terran—ahem, Clay. The only ones who are single are PJ and I. PJ, Franziska and I are a team. The three of us are like siblings; me the youngest, Franziska and PJ the older ones.

"You take care of our little sis Peej." Franziska says. PJ nods, "Of course!" he exclaims while bringing me into a tight hug. I sigh, "Why is everyone hugging!?" I exclaim. The three of us laugh, "Alright, serious time. Good luck to you!" Franziska says while putting her headset on and walking to her station. PJ and I walk to the pod of the shuttle where the rest of the team is at. Clay is there giving a goodbye kiss to Amy then walks back and takes a look at all of us, "I wish you all good luck." He says and slowly walks away. John and Jack hold hands and walk into the shuttle without another word. Amy smiles at PJ and I while following the two lovers. PJ looks at me but I was looking at the gate with a long look, "I'm going ahead." PJ says while patting my shoulder and getting in the shuttle.

After a few minutes, there was a warning that the countdown for takeoff will begin. I sigh and look down at my helmet that had my name on the side, "Well...see you after ten years Earth gravity." I say and turn around and take slow steps towards the shuttle. Just then, there was shouting.

"Sir! The shuttle will takeoff soon!" a guard shouted. "No! I need to speak to Stella—wait is that—STELLA!" a familiar voice shouts. My eyes widen, "P-Phil?" I ask softly. "You're Phil right?" Franziska's voice asks with authority. "Yeah, what of it?" Phil asks. "I'm Franziska, and Stella is my top priority. I don't think she would like to speak to you after what happened between you two." Franziska says. "But we have to see Stella! She'll be gone for ten years and she didn't even say good bye to us!" Dan says which surprises me. Why is Dan here?

I sigh and turn around. There, I see Phil trying to jump over the barrier while Dan and a guard are pulling him back. Franziska glances at me and I nod at her while walking towards the barrier, "Make it quick guys." I say. Franziska opens the barrier and Phil practically runs towards me and hugs me tightly. I drop my helmet in surprise and to my horror; _a certain blue bottle drops as well._

It was an immediate reaction. Everyone knew that I hated the pills so me bringing it is surely a shocker. Dan walks towards me slowly and picks up the items I dropped and hands it to me. I was about to grab the bottle so Phil wouldn't ask but Phil quickly grabs the bottle and reads it, his eyes going wide with realisation. "These...these are exactly the same pills all those years ago when we found that fake picture." Phil says slowly. I hear Franziska sigh and I grab the bottle away from him and tuck it back in its pocket while getting my helmet gratefully from Dan, "Yeah, so what?" I ask a little harshly.

Dan slips his hand into Phil's and without warning a tear goes down my face but I wipe it quickly, "I hope you two liked your pancakes. I'm sorry that I won't be able to go to your wedding, but I doubt you'll even remember me." I say. Phil shakes his head, "No, we _will_ remember you Stella." He says. I smile sadly, "No star, please...just forget me. Continue your life with Dan." I say while beginning to walk away.

Someone grabs my shoulder and quickly turns me around. Out of instinct, I grab that person's torso and throw that person over my shoulder. I gasp and realize I just flipped Phil who just bursts out laughing. "Phil! Oh my—I'm so sorry!" I exclaim and help him up. Phil waves his hand, "It's fine, at least I got you to stay a little longer." He says. I roll my eyes, "Seriously guys. I need to go, if you still remember me then fine, nothing I can do. If you don't, nothing I can do either." I say and walk away. Then, I stop and run back and crush the two boys in a hug, "But please make an effort to remember me." I whisper and run back into the shuttle.

* * *

"Hey, pass me some water." Peej says. I roll my eyes and toss the water jug; the jug floating towards Peej due to the lack of gravity. PJ smiles and opens the jug, the water floating out as well, "I don't think I'll ever get used to zero gravity." He says. I laugh, "Well, get used to it because once we return to Earth gravity our bones are going to go insane." I say. "Yeah, that's why I'm enjoying it while I can." PJ says.

I look out the window and sigh as I stare at the new stars, "We're so...small..." I say softly. PJ sees me and floats towards me while wrapping me in a hug, "But you still matter." He says. Smiling, I kiss PJ's cheek, "I don't care if you're gay, you are definitely the man in a relationship." I say. PJ chuckles while resting his chin on my head, "If I can even find _the one_. You thought Phil was—"

Without knowing, I tensed up and felt tears prickling my eyes, "Well, I was wrong." I quickly cut in. PJ noticed this and rubbed his hand on my arm to calm me down, "I'm sorry Stella...I didn't mean to mention him." He says. I sigh, "It's okay Peej, even the smartest person makes mistakes. Just...try to think before you speak okay?" my voice wavered but I didn't let a single tear drop. "You know, it's weird that once we go back on Earth, we're thirty-four yet we would look like how we are now—twenty-six." PJ says, changing the topic. "Well, I'm twenty-four actually." I say.

Suddenly, Jack came in with sweat beaded across his forehead. "Guys, we have a problem." He says. PJ and I quickly ripped apart and followed the tired Jack through the shuttle. "We've got some technical difficulties which _might_ force us to stay a bit longer." Jack quickly explains. "What kind of technical difficulties?" I ask. Before Jack could respond, I knew my answer was already answered. "Oh..." I mutter while eyeing our problem.

 _This is going to take a while._

* * *

 **The End**


End file.
